The Secret Diary of Adnan Mole, aged 32 and a bit

2007-06-16T06:06:00.001-07:00

emel

The One Where Adnan Says Goodbye!

2005-10-29T06:36:00.000-07:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy.

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary.

I don't want to say it but, your time has come to an end. A year has passed and it's time to open a new Diary.

If you want to read it, click here, Diary. Don't get jealous. I'll always treasure you.

Wa-s salaam.

The One With The Enema

2005-10-29T06:16:00.000-07:00

In the Name Of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy.

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary.

Now that the umpteenth person here at the station has asked me to pass a message on to someone in a different department, when they are more than capable of either (a) phoning the relevant person or (b) writing them a note and sticking it in their in-tray, it came to my mind to note the following characteristics of the pakis that inhabit the station. I believe they are indicative of all of them out there that don't usually interact with any other culture, except on a superficial level. Here goes:

1. They cannot be arsed writing things down and wherever possible will get you to take responsibility for things whch are really their sole responsibility: they like you to own their actions (which may explain why some of them have the deluded idea that you can give the rewards for your deeds to dead people in their graves).
2. EVERYONE likes to be in charge - over the English people (sorry - person).
3. They enjoy minding your business, even though you don't know them from Adam: there are apparently no bounds, with your marriage and personal, family relations free territory. Ths leads to point 4:
4. They are far TOO familiar.

How many more negative things are there to add to the list? Do these people have NO good qualities? Watch this space, dear Diary!

Wa-s salaam.

The One With The Aching

2005-10-28T03:24:00.000-07:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary.

Well, yesterday, my joints were aching and I eventually crashed out on the radio station admin floor: you guessed it - a virus managed to get me! Anyway, after a good amount of time on the admin floor, I went with Rasin to Tesco's about 0000h and picked up some honey, paracetamol and ibuprofen. Also, I had to make du'aa for MYSELF, as nobody else does. Du'aas are apparently out of fashion.

They've made Tescobogs lots bigger down at the bottom of Bradistan city centre: it now take up the place where Fads DIY used to be, so it's absolutely HUGE. In fact, it was soooo big, it didn't like it one bit: I mean, who buys all this stuff? The wastage must be enormous. It's obscene to even think about it!. And you have to go to the where the clothing section is to get medicines(??).... weird...

Anyway, there was a strange point during our wander among the aisles, when I had balanced a jar of honey on top of a tub of Hagen Daz (carefully, but precariously, I thought), when the honey jar slipped off the ice cream tub... it was like it was happening in slow motion: I just looked at the jar as it fell, with the feeling that it would smash on the supermarket floor, almost certain it wouldn't bounce or anything like that, and then there was the disbelief when it actually did smash... anyway, we had to go back to aisle 5 and on our way back from the other side of beyond, where the clothes are kept, a store assistant was being instructed to clean it up.

When I got home, I put about half a mug of the honey into a mug of decaf tea and drank it all down.

I'm feeling heaps better, now, al-hamdu lillah.

On a slightly different note, and before I sign off for the moment, I was very pleased when looking at the serach terms used to access you, Diary. They seem to indicate that Google (and even, dare I say it, MSN search) are doing their jobs, by directing people to me, using unobscure, realistic search terms:

10/26/05 14:23:16 "blogging: an islamic perspective" (Google)
10/26/05 10:55:31 "environmental health officer" (Google)
10/26/05 01:07:44 Always Your Adnan (Google)
10/25/05 20:20:52 Ramadan Radio (MSN)
10/22/05 13:45:09 adnan (MSN)

Bavarian Wood Exports down at 3.

Salaams and brothely regards as I sign off from the Radio Ramadan admin internet PC.

26 Oct 05: Words From Your Friends

2005-10-26T03:54:00.000-07:00

Allah (az-za wa-j jal Al-'Aleey Al-Otheem Al-Kabeeyr As-Salaam Al-Khaabid Ar-Raz-zaaq Al-Khaaliq Al-Aw-wal As-Sam'eey):
- Who tells who? (35:14)
- The greater creation (40:57)
- Have some hunility (21:30)

The Prophet (soll Allahu 'alayhi wa sal-lam): "Poverty for those among you who love me comes quicker than a flood from the top of the mountain to the bottom." (Love for the Prophet Muhammad, sallalahu allayhe wa salam, manifests itself in many ways. One will prefer what the Prophet came with, over his own desires. His anger against people will be for the sake of Allah. He will mention the Prophet often. He will have a yearning to meet him. He will exalt and respect him and be humble when he hears his name mentioned. He will have love for the Qur'an, which the Prophet brought. He will have compassion for his community, striving for their best interests. And another sign for love of the Prophet, sallalahu allahe wa salam, is that he who aspires to it, does without in this world and prefers poverty. (Islamic Awakening)

26 Oct 05: Your Haiku For Today

2005-10-26T03:29:00.000-07:00

SPubs

Disbeliever..! Innovator...!
.............Deviant!:
If you're not one of us

26 Oct 05: What ever happened to...?

2005-10-26T03:26:00.000-07:00

Abdullah Preston Cohen...?

The One With The Chicken Leg

2005-10-25T10:14:00.000-07:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy.

As-salaamu ‘alaykum dear Diary.

Ziad has just come into the station to check for leaks from the ceiling. He says if there are any, he will be shouting at the contractor, subhaan Allah.

I have had enough of Creepy Vines and have made istikhaarah to leave; the work-related stress is just too much and today was the cherry on the top of the cake. I have just phoned in sick with the reason that I’m not feeling well (which I mentally am not). I had been written up for a 0800-2100 shift tomorrow but I just won’t be able to face it. I’ll probably go and get a sick note from the doctor for work related stress (induced by three females ganging up in me in an office and doing a sort-of “kangaroo court” thingy).

My reflections during and shortly afterwards the inquisition were that Allah was testing me, as he only tests the people whom he loves. Also, there is only a certain amount of time people with greatly differing levels of faith can remain in the same space, before ‘something has to give’. Also, the easiest form of defence is attack; only for weak people, in my opinion.

I need to move on. I just wish I could find a job where I was working with mostly people of the same level of faith as me. With all the will the world, I find that employment buzz words such as “equal opportunities” only seem to work or applicable if you behave exactly as the people around you (i.e. break the rules, treat people like dirt, live a life with no belief in God or feeling free from worshipping him), or fit their perceptions of normality. Any challenges, and you’re out.

A recurring theme – ah, well, this is life for a Mole in a mixed-up society!

Another recurring theme (which I wouldn’t have had to retype if Bill Gates’ Microsoft Word and Microsoft Windows XP had come up with the goods) was regarding my thoughts on why I eat alone even when the guys invite me into the guest area:

1. When I come to the studio, my mind is on work. When I have my mind on work, my mind and body reject the idea of food: take El Gringo’s, for example – wall-to-wall pizza but I just don’t have an appetite: so I try to eat before I go there.

2. I have lived on my own for five years: I am used to my own routines and am a bit of an old dog that you can’t easily teach new tricks to.

3. I am English and by culture, individualistic: for example, one thing which is extremely irritating and strange to me is when I am eating with someone and they put some food morsel in front of me or onto my plate/ part of the plate. They think it's being charitable: I think, "Don't they want that? Why are they giving it to me???" (ho ho).

4. As my wife lives over three thousand miles away, any social activity makes me feel curiously (and not consciously) more and more increasingly lonely and depressed, the longer I have to take part in the activity.

5. By nature, I am shy and retiring and very happy with my own company. I have always been like this.

There seems to have been a constant clash of cultures since I entered the station: it's interesting, as you wouldn't know at first glances (people look pretty much the same wherever you go - two arms, two legs, etc.) that this great difference existed. Mmm. Anyway, onto lighter "comic relief-type" matters....

- AliBhaiSonic just offered me a fairy cake: I had to remind him that fairy cakes are for *** fairies *** only.

-I was just relating the situation from Creepy Vines the other day to SmoothieSufi and “SufiGifts” about when a chicken leg dropped from the sky, and my theory as to where it came from (not the people living in the upstairs flat, as they weren't apparently cooking chicken that day).

Anyway, that’s all for today; my eyes are red, my ears are aching and SmoothieSufi is ranting in my ear, as I type.

Bavarian Wood Exports up at 8, al hamdu lillah.

Adnan signing out.

Wa-s salaam.

25 Oct 05: Words From Your Friends

2005-10-25T05:45:00.000-07:00

Allah (az-za waj-jal Al-'Azeez Al-Kareeym Al-Jab-baar Al-'Aleey Al-'Odheem): Allah's throne is a physical thing (39:75)
The Prophet (soll Allahu 'alayhi wa sal-lam): The majority of hellfire is made up of women

25 Oct 05: What ever happened to...?

2005-10-25T05:38:00.000-07:00

Ibrahim El-Beltagi?

The One With The Leakage

2005-10-24T10:27:00.000-07:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy.

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary.

I found this today while searching through you on Google. What does it mean???

Adnan signing out.

Wa-s salaam.

24 Oct 05: Your Haiku For Today

2005-10-24T10:11:00.000-07:00

Tea Leaves!

Oh Allah - cut off their hand
However you wish:
Someone stole something.

24 Oct 05: Your Links For Today

2005-10-24T10:06:00.000-07:00

Don't know what to do? Need some direction? Make istikaarah?
Bush and Blair: My Love. (video)

24 Oct 05: What ever happened to...?

2005-10-24T09:13:00.000-07:00

What ever happened to Ali Laing?

23 Oct 05: Your Haiku For Today

2005-10-23T07:19:00.000-07:00

Obstinacy!

Narrow sighted people
See obstacles in their path:
They don't remove them.

The One With The Always

2005-10-23T07:05:00.000-07:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy.

As-salaamu 'alaykum wa rahmatullaah, dear Diary.

I have had a few individuals exhibit acute rudeness, during my stay at the radio station. It all leads me to believe that they are very ignorant with regards to Islamic manners. I have seen very good examples of what is NOT Islam (i.e. submission to the will of the Creator), from an old man being extremely impertinent on a number of occasions, to someone being overbearingingly helpful (at sometimes inappropriate moments), to someone who was very impertinent when I wouldn't eat food with him, to someone who showed the utmost arrogance and indifference to me, to someone who displayed wilful ignorance and other such behaviours.

I see this all as weakness of faith and character.

"...we've shamed ourselves, we've strayed from Al-Mu'al-lim (The Teacher - Muhammad, soll Allahu 'alayhi wa sal-lam)" (Line from lyrics of track by Sami Yusuf)...

One of them (a presenter) was actually playing the above track - its a shame he falls into the category of those mentioned.

My excuse for these people is they come from backgrounds where it is difficult to see Islam (pertaining to Islam as a whole) practiced purely free from un-Islamic cultural influences.

As I was explaining to SmoothieSufi the other day, although people don't realise it, every time I do anything, I think of pleasing Allah and then go through a series of evidences in my head to check if it is something which Allah has sanctioned in Islam.

I have come to the conclusion to varying degrees of awareness until this entry, dear Diary, that
nobody is aware of this and that they think I am just worshipping Allah when they can see me do outward actions associated with Islam (i.e. prayer, fasting etc.). I say this because I have noticed how nice and sensitive people become when talking to me about these issues, while the rest of the time, they can be quite nasty and horrid.

There is nothing that I consciously do without knowing whether Allah is pleased with it or not. This goes further than prayer and fasting. It includes everything. This is because Islam covers every single second of my life with authetic evidences and real-life examples.

Anyway, I'll end here for today.

Bavaran Wood Exports down at 2, sadly today!

Wa-s salaam.

23 Oct 05: Your Links For Today

2005-10-23T06:03:00.000-07:00

Al-'Aaqeedatu-t Tahaaweeyyah
Where is Allah?
The Creed of the Four Imams
The Aqeedah Of Imaam al-Bukhari Died 256H

The One With The Sufi

2005-10-20T21:12:00.000-07:00

In the Name of allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy.

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary.

Here we are again. SufiSmoothie was trying to show me something he had as a text message on his phone today, as I was working on the internet in the admin area at Ramadan Radio today. Iread it and said, oh - right! what's this? It didn't make any sense to me why it was on his phone etc. He said that he had composed it early in the morning and had wanted to send it to me but realised he didn't have my telephone number (I didn't realise that sufis needed telephones - I thought they could just whisk themselves to wherever they needed to go in the twinkling of en eye, anyway...).

He went on to explain they were Haikus, that he had composed. He added that I probably didn't recognise them as they didn't have colons. Doh! Here they are:

Fly Sufi!

My heart is rusty
And full of rancour:
Tasawwaf is the path home!

Johnson wax...

Polish my heart clean,
Remove its desire:
La ellaha ilallah.

I also said my prayers before phoning Creepy Vines this late PM. I wanted a 2-9 shift. I asked - Allah delivered, al-hamdu lillah. allah is always so good to me!

That's all for today. No supplementals.

Adnan signing out.

Wa-s salaam.

The One With The Phone Diverts

2005-10-19T23:02:00.000-07:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy.

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary.

Well, I come one day closer to my date of death. I know I have one - I just don't know what it is.... spooky!... It could be 26/5/09; it could be 5/8/06; it could be 22/8/38. Who knows? But anyway, I am one day closer to it. Nice to know. One less day to go. Yay!

Well, I was asked to do an earlier duty in the studio because a lot of children from a local school have come in to sing some Islamic songs on the radio. They were very well behaved and the teaching assistant and nominated parent helped them to move around the station very well. I have been able to update my blog and pay a few bills on the internet, al-hamdu lillah.

EarthGirl (of www.earthgirlblog.blogspot.com fame) sent me a comment on yesterday's post, to which I replied. I replied that I was not saying that there are other communities out there which have problems, but the reason why I was highlighting the Pakistani community in the UK was because they hold up the banner of Islam (i.e. they claim to belong to the best nation on Earth, who enjoin the good and forbid the evil, yet they seem to do many things which go against this).

Anyway, the sun is shining as I sat typing at this PC in the radio station admin area.

As I walked out of my house today, the bright sunshine, dark clouds and rain brought back distant memories of days at the seaside.

I also set my phone to divert all calls to another operator's (Orange, that is) answerphone system. So if anyone tries to ring me on my days off (especially places where I work), they will get a message asking them to enter their Orange phone number, followed by the hash key. :)

Bavarian Wood Exports up at 7 today.

Adnan signing out from the admin area PC.

Wa-s salaam!

The One Without the Quran!

2005-10-19T21:55:00.000-07:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy.

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary.

Well, I just finished a shift at creepy vines, eaten fish and chips and the only place I could get any peace or space to lie down was...

... the radio station toilet!

It fit the requirements: dark, cool, quiet, nobody in sight, a lock on the door and with plenty of space to stretch and lie! Ahhh! Nobody uses the thing, except to top-up the kettle with "eau-de-toilette", that is! (heh heh! The visitors think this sounds posh - bog water!)

I have two days grace from creepy vines (yey! Al-hamdu lillah!), so that means I will probably be getting a call from them to ask me to cover some shift or other on my day off.

I have decided to use the "divert all calls" function on my phone, so that they will think its been switched off.

Let me tell you, until yesterday, the nearest I had come to the mosque was when I walked past it on my way to the nearest ATM. I had had enough and was getting really upset at not going, so last night, I left early from the radio station and legged it to the mosque. The imam was just finishing a talk, and when I had finished my two units of prayer for entering the mosque, they were putting the lights out.

I just wanted to be left alone, so didn't speak really to anyone. No salaams, no nothing.

I sat outside in the car park under the tree for a short while, then went home.

I also put the chapter about the Queen of Sheba from the Quran on the PC when I got home and wound down to a game of spider solitaire.

I felt better after that. If I don't read Quran for about two weeks, I start to feel ill. I know the symptoms now - feelings of emptiness, sadness etc. A good read and I feel wondeful again - after Allah has spoken to me! Yay!

The more I experience the Creation, the more I love Allah.

Bavarian Wood Exports up at 6 today, al-hamdu lillah.

Adnan signing out from the radio station's research PC.

Wa-s salaam.

Ab

Wa-s salaam.

18 Oct 05: Your Haiku For Today

2005-10-18T08:42:00.000-07:00

My nice lady boss said
You should expect to come in:
On your day off.

I thought about it
And I think that
The company does not own me.

The One With Abdullah Handcock

2005-10-18T03:40:00.000-07:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy.

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary.

Abdullah Handcock just forwarded this email to me, which I wanted to record for posterity (incidentally, FYI, fowarded stuff usually goes straight into my trashcan before I even read it - that sadly includes stuff my sister sends to me.):

Subject: Two Tough Questions

Question 1: If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion? Read the next question before looking at the answer for this one.

Question 2: It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates.

Candidate A - Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
Candidate B - He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.
Candidate C - He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.

Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first, no peeking, then scroll down for the answer.

Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

And, by the way, the answer to the abortion question: If you said yes, you just killed Beethoven.

Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember: Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:

29 have been accused of spousal abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been accused of writing bad checks
117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3 have done time for assault
71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8 have been arrested for shop! lifting
21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year

Can you guess which organization this is? ------------------------------------ Give up yet? It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group of idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line. You gotta pass this one on.

Bavarian Wood Exports down at 0 today, al-hamdu lillah!

Adnan signing out.

Wa-s salaam.

16 Oct 2005: Your Haiku For Today

2005-10-16T05:47:00.000-07:00

Watch Out Oppressors!

Muslim or not
If you oppress anyone:
Allah answers their prayer!

The One With The Time Warp

2005-10-16T05:40:00.000-07:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy.

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary.

Well, just another snippet of news from the radio station floor, and it's concerning Pakistani culture, yet again (a recurring interest in your pages!):

Apparently (according to the English-fluent, Karachi-born security guard at the station), the Pakis here are still living in 1947 and haven't moved on: they're still fighting the fight, while everyone in Pakiland has moved on. He says that the guys back home see the ones who came here as being a bit strange. Hmm... not the only one then.... the indigenous people here are not alone...

Bavarian Wood Exports down at 1 today.

Adnan signing out!

Wa-s salaam.

16 Oct 05: Your Links For Today

2005-10-15T18:42:00.000-07:00

Adnan needs...
500 buses for 28 Hurricane Rita Survivors...

15 Oct 05: Your Haiku For Today

2005-10-14T12:33:00.000-07:00

Oh No! Ramadan Ra-di-oh!

Fast FM Radio
Has hangers-on:
In the guest area.

They talk when we're live on air:
No realisation:
The listeners can hear.

They have interest
And I think, they've good hearts:
That is the benefit.

About Haiku's

The One With The Little Death

2005-10-14T12:24:00.000-07:00

In the name of Allah, The Owner of Mercy, The Giver of Mercy

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary.

Jenny (not her real name) was a midwife in her prime. By the time I came into her life (or she came into mine - whichever way you want to look at it), she was an old lady of about 96 and I was a senior care assistant in her home. I've mentioned before how she had the same routine day in and day out (in my entry on "ethnicity"). I learnt things about her, such as the fact that the details of how many babies she had delievered was still held in official records, next to her name and that practically all of her siblings had died, leaving her with practically nobody with whom she had any ability to relate to.

Anyhow, she died apparently about two weeks ago...

You, know Diary? The strangest thing.

I found that I actually had feelings for that old lady...

...ones which I still do have.

I feel aggrieved at the loss. Part of me has died today.

I don't think that will ever change.

Someone walking around with a little death inside him, signing out.

Bavarian Wood Exports up at 15 today.

Wa-s salaam.

13 Dec 05: Your Links For Today

2005-10-13T08:35:00.000-07:00

A great site on how telephone technology used to be! Dreamy! (Am I a geek or what???) :p

The One With Love, Mercy and Justice... and Brussels sprouts!

2005-10-09T14:18:00.000-07:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary.

The thought occurred to me today that "...talking gets in the way of doing..." or "...don't talk: do!...".

I can't remember what caused me to go down this line of thinking, now, at 2:55am in the morning listening to Zaid coming out with unfounded conspiracy theories behind me in the background, while I chomp on Brussels sprouts.

Also - I was the last one out of the radio studio this morning - Issy Babe left the keys with me and I decided to stay behind and vacuum up and empty the bins, etc.

The security guard came in while I was vaccing the guest area, and came around the corner all of a sudden while I had Sami Yusuf blasting out on my MP3 player, and surprised me (but not scared me).

He asked if he could do the vaccing, but I said that was okay. I caught him shortly after that playing a game of Solitaire on the Admin area PC.

The Living Islam slot was devoted to "Marriage" today and I'm apparently, looking at the schedule just by chance today, I'm down with Issy Babe on the 12th of October 2005 for "Reverts to Islam from different communities". Zaid says he's in for this one, inshaa-a Allah.

We just need to generate some research questions. I just asked Zaid to do that from the "Mosque" programme on BBC. He said that he can memorise most of them. Great! Al-hamdu lillah!

Also - it occurred to me the other day that mercy is a quality between love and justice. What made me arrive at this conclusion was a situation in which I loved someone but did not like the idea of having someone so attached to me. I could just cut off the love relationship but how to do so without hurting the other person? What was the solution?

Well, I put the two qualities on a scale, representing a contiuum, with the two qualities as extremes at either end. Then I toyed with where to put "mercy": above "absolute truth" or "absolute knowledge" or below them but in-between the two qualities on the continuum.

I settled with the latter and then tried to verify my hypothesis, using the ayaat of Quraan and the sayings of the Prophet (soll Allahu 'alayhi wa sal-lam) to validate it:

1. When Allah decreed the creation, he wrote in a book, which is with him on the throne: "My mercy prevails over my anger",
2. Muhammad (soll Allahu 'alayhi wa sal-lam) was described in the Quran as being "merciful to the believers" and also as never taking vengeance for any wrongs done to him personally but taking full vengeance when Allah's rights were violated,
3. In the Quran, Allah describes himself as comprehending everything in his knowledge and mercy.

So, it seems to me at the moment that a balanced person is a merciful person, as this incorporates the two essential personal qualities of love and justice.

Mercy is always the only real option. You have no option except to be merciful all the time. It's a concious choice that I will have to always make myself make now that I believe I understand the mechanics of something that I always had great difficulty understanding: how do you get a balance between love and justice, as these are two completely opposing concepts?

I suppose, in a social context, the mother provides a greater model of loving, whereas the father provides a greater model of justice and together, you get balanced progeny for the next generation.

Al-hamdu lillah.

Adnan signing out.

Wa-s salaam.

The One With The Love

2005-10-08T12:45:00.000-07:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy.

As-salaamu 'alaykum, Dear Diary.

Well, as I type, I am shacked up with Yunus and Zaid in Yunus' workplace. I just finished a schpeel at Ramadan Radio and Irfan dropped me off. I just got a new phone and there was a voicemail from the guys asking me to ring, so I did and Yunus said he'd call me back, which he did, and now I'm round at his place. There's a good atmosphere and there's some movie set in the C18 about terrorism.

I'm scheduled for a 2-9 shift tomorrow, so I can afford to stay here on the red eye, with this surely good company. With two guys whom I love. Al-hamdu lillah.

Close relationships seem to be developing at Ramadan Radio also.

Things can only get better.

All my love to you, dear, dear Diary.

Bavarian Wood Exports down at 3 today.

Wa-s salaam.

Adnan signing out.

The One Without The Shariah

2005-08-25T02:21:00.000-07:00

In the name of allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear, dear Diary.

Well, here we are again!

- I was really pleased in hearing someone say the other day that there is no Islamic law in the UK, and so I have taken every opportunity to pass on and confirm this piece of information at every possible opportunity. Let's have a bit of reality - hey? As Abu Muntasir says, "...you go into some cities and you think, '...have they been living in Britain for twenty years?...' " This is not an Islamic state. The laws of England, Scotland and Wales apply and you should ensure that you are a law-abiding citizen in what is a pluralistic state. That means no chipping of car stereos or satellite receiver boxes; no embezelling the Government of monetary benefits paid or plotting and scheming against the interests of the state.

- I had to laugh while on duty, at the end of shift at Creepy Vines last night: it was coming towards 9PM, and the senior in-charge had left a half-emptied mug of weak tea on the table, where he was sitting, in the kitchen. He went out and that left me and the other care assistant in the kitchen, with me just coming in briefly - on the fly - to see who was there. Well, while the care assistant had her back turned towards me, I took the beaker and emptied the remains of tea into the nearby sink, placing the mug back excatly as it had been before. As I left, the door remained open in time for me to see the care assistant come over to the table and then bend down in disbelief that the mug had been emptied.

[One thing about me is that I learnt a very long time ago never to tell lies or be dishonest. The reason being, that I cannot keep a straight face, if I do! Doh! :) ]

Anyway, there's me hovering around, trying to keep a straight face but really laughing my head off, when who should go into the kitchen but the senior in-charge! Well, the senior was asking what had happened to his tea, while the care assistant was saying he had drunk it, with him saying how could he have drunk it when it was so hot?

It was funny. They didn't suspect me, as I kept outside, so they couldn't see me laughing! Classic Adnan, that was! Am I mad, or what?

- On a more philosophical note, I recently had the brainwave to judge people's actions according to their own intentions, and not according to whether they were universally true or false. This is backed-up by a number of statements from the book.

Anyway, ShahidBabe calling me to go to El Gringo's, so ciao! (ShahidBabe asked me to add that he never gets any quiet time! Poor old sod!) He also asked me to close the brackets!

Adnan signing out.

Wa-s salaam, baby!

The One With The Symbols

2005-08-18T01:37:00.000-07:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary.

"...don't do it with the children - you'll confuse them...":

this was part of a conversation I was having with a Pakistani the other day. It relates to the Pakistani tradition of spontaneously starting half-way through a discourse, while those listening try to work out what you are talking about, without actually asking what you are talking about, as they are too polite, and getting a rough idea, towards the end of your speech.

Apparently, its endemic in Pakistani communication. So this Pakistani says. I had it confirmed by another. Maybe at last, that explains why I get so infuriated whenever a Pakistani speaks to me: they never explain why they choose a particular topic of discussion and I often have to clarify the same. Cultural differences, huh?

I am glad I am not a Pakistani living in an English cultural environment. It must be very difficult.

On another note, I came to the conclusion, after much thinking, that the only absolutely discernible thing which any human has in common with any other human being is the fact that they either breathe or they don't.

Adnan signing out from ShahidBabe's computer.

Wa-s salaam.

Laa ilaaha il-l-Allah.

18 Aug 05: Your Links For Today

2005-08-18T01:11:00.000-07:00

Muslims in Britain - Our Contribution to Society (in the silky smooth tones of Abu Muntasir - yeah, man! Dig it!)

24 Jul 05: Your Links for Today

2005-07-23T21:47:00.000-07:00

Nadeem's islamic lectures homepage and Yvonne Ridley!
(I do not accept responsibility for any extreme or possibly offensive content!)

The One With The Principles

2005-07-23T07:27:00.000-07:00

In the name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary.

Well, I have relocated up the road to another nursing home, called Creepy Vines - Shady Pines is now ***shudders violently*** a distant memory. The staff here work as a team and joy of joys have respect for me and each other and guess what? For the greater part, the clients come first! Wow! Imagine that! Neat. I fit in here. But at the ned of the day of running around after 21 people older than I, I get a bit buggered and need to stare at the far wall of the mosque, as I gradually wind down, sat on the darpet (for the chairs are not a part of Muslim Asian mosque culture, unlike us Muslim Brits)...

Most of the mosque natives who now, from bitter experience, have become attuned to my routine don't really interfere with me too much, while I am sat at the back in this way. They know that sometimes I cannot be effing bothered greeting them. Perhaps they think I'm that strange "gorra" (English, non-Muslim) person... perhaps they have strange ideas from their own narrow perceptions as to the issue... who cares? We do not share the same ethnicity in any respect - especially in terms of Islam. Basically, I am knackered and that's the bottom line, let's face it. It doesn't take rocket science to work that one out. But I suppose if you're an OAP and/or can bearely string a decent topical conversation in English together (like the vast majority of the grey-haired personages who grace the mosque carpet daily, you may well have forgotten what work is all about and the fact that - yes - you do get very tired. Anyhoo...

Someone borrowed a book from me about two weeks ago, after pleading with me to borrow it. He said he would return it within a given time period (which I was sure was a sign that he wouldn't). Anyway, I went along with it. He subsequently didn't hand it in on the given time. I said I just wasn't interested in taking the book back, as there was a principle involved. I far as I was concerned, he could keep the book. Apparently, he has been at Ishaa-a prayer in the past two days, asking the ArsjieBabe (the chubby Imam) of my whereabouts, hoping to return the book (I have been going home at Maghrib time, to get an early night). As far as I can see, he talks a lot but doesn't do what he says and therefore, I deem him unreliable. The book acts to me as the reminder of a broken principle, therefore I will trash it, if he forces it onto me, as he seems sure to do (he doesn't seem to listen to me when I keep telling him I don't want the book back and the reasons why). ????

That was one principle: keeping your word.

The second principle that came to my mind, as a way of coping with the fact that if you spend enough time with anyone or anything, you'll begin to discover they/it have/has flaws was to consider if something affected my worship, before going into it. It smooths over having high principles while living in an undereducated quarter of Bradistan. I always like absolutes, and this is the most absolute way of thinking I could come up with, at present.

And to date, the only absolutes I have been able to discover are Allah and the sunnah of his messenger. These two give me no problems. Whatever.

That's it for today, Diary. Adnan signing out.

Bavarian Wood Exports up at 6 today.

Wa-s salaam

The One With The Shades

2005-07-13T07:15:00.000-07:00

In the name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear, dear Diary.

Well, the bomb blasts in London made me feel sick, but I felt even sicker knowing that they came from Yorkshire and - get this -

my home town: Bradistan :(

May Allah give the bombers what evil they deserve.

Anyhoo, StrawberrySplitz mentioned to me the other day outside the mosque that I hadn't been writing in my blog for a while, so that's egged me to write in you again. There have been quite a few reflective incidents, but its a matter of them happening when (a) I have access to the internet and (b) when I feel motivated enough to write them. I these things don't happen, the behaviours that I adopt as a matter of reflection become assimilated into my daily routine.

Hence, I don't remember immediately what those reflections were.

I am now settling into the new work place. It is a lot more relaxed and friendly. I have spent two days with a woman who is married to another woman and who was a senior care assistant for many years. She is very friendly.

This situation has made me realise that I am a very shy person. She sticks up for me and helps my confidence.

She was telling me the other day when I was trying to explain what happens at Shady Pines that I had sustained a "hammering". It was difficult to take it in, because, as usual, I had to think about what had been said. But after thinking about it, I thought, "Yeah - I DID take a hammering. She was right!".

She has offered to give me a fridge which is sitting in good condition in her garage, as she has been made aware of my single guy plight vis a vis cooking, and has advised me to do a big cook on a day off and freeze it for the rest of the week. Isn't she kind? Yes she is!

And that's it for today, as I have to attend a meeting shortly, in amongst Juma talking about something in the background with someone else in the adjoining room.

Will anything ever come of his plans? Who knows...?

Also - he wanted to knoe if I "read", on our way here, in the car. I said, well, I read the Times newspaper and the Quran.

He said he didn't mean that.

He suggested novels. I said, well no, I don't like them - I read factual things such as Dummies books and historical write-ups; biographies - that sort of thing.

Then we got onto the subject of Karen Armstrong and he got a bit bitchy.

Well, that's old Juma in his cool shades and fast driving speeds.

Bavarian Wood Exports down to 4 today.

Have a nice day.

Wa-s salaam.

The One With The Spider

2005-07-07T00:02:00.000-07:00

In the name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary.

Nice to be back. I suppose the main reflections I have had over the past few days are regarding relationships. Within that, comes the issue of "ethnicity"; I learnt for the first time at a work-organised seminar the other week that your ethnicity, far from being what skin colour the Government wants to know you are (incidentally, I am not "white" - more a pinky light shade of brown, if you know what I mean...), it refers to those traits which distinguish you as part of a group which is distinct from other groups.

I am fairly unique where I roam - a strange beast indeed...

It appears that my ethnicity is Muslim, Yorkshire, English, male nurse.

So, I can listen to your problems, but that's about as far as the relationship will go.

I guess the realisation that I have had is that for some, the more you go through life, the more your ethnicity becomes specialised.

I applied this realisation to my clients at Shady Pines: there is one old lady who used to be a midwife; she says she doesn't mind not having visitors as most of her family are of a younger generation - all the older ones like herself having died - and so they really have nothing in common [I would have thought the fact that they are family would have been enough, but no...]. She spends her days, with the same routine, unconcerned apparently by it all. Each day is practically identical on the outside.

I suppose she must be so specialised through her experiences, that it doesn't really matter who she interacts with - they won't really match her ethnicity to any great degree.

I suppose that's why old people are the way they are; they can relate to so much, yet have the ability to show relative indifference to most of life's crises, minor and otherwise.

I'm on two weeks holiday from Shady's. I told the regional manager that I am not happy with my manager, giving the reasons, such as she does not back me up when staff misbehave. The regional manager was very understanding and said that there were some vacancies up the road, and I should ring her this Friday.

It seems nice and all - better than the previous place, but I always experience the same thing in nursing environments: they are dominated by women. For some reason, we dont mix. All I want to do is get my job done as a male Muslim. All they same to want to do is domineer me and use their tongues for evil such as backbiting and gossip and discussing inane issues - anything but do a good job caring for the clients. It's always the same: they start off nice and then... they start being themselves.

There are always a few women in such settings that come from good backgrounds, who have good manners and behave what I would call "normally", and who do what you ask them and just get on with the job.

Perhaps this new place will be short lived also...

After speaking to my brother-in-laws brother the other day, he seemed able to understand what I was saying. I got a lot out of my nursing and all my education to-date, but it's female dominated: with the wrong mix of females! Oh well...

I have been banned from El Gringo's because the owner didn't like how I reacted to a lie he told about me not praying. I spoke to WahidBabe to see if this was still in force, as he did not realise there was such a ban in place. He said he would get back to me the last time that we spoke on the telephone but needless to say he has not got back to me yet. I will keep you posted, inshaa-a Allah. All I can say is that when people make accusations about my faith (i.e. my prayers) I can get extremely angry indeed. The owner combined two things which make me instantly angry: 1. he LIED to me and secondly, he made a sleight about my faith. BIG no-no! An old man should know better, but as he has explained himself, he knows really nothing about Islam (or basic good manners, it appears, either).

And the spider? I don't really want to tell you this, but, here goes...

I have just moved into a new pad for the next six months. The place is a bit of a dive, but it's a stopgap measure and I made istikhaarah for it anyway.

Bit by bit, I have managed to clean a corner here, dust a ledge there.

One of the early days in week 1 was spent cleaning around the sink unit....

Underneath, I saw what appeared to be a pad of some sort, so, not thinking, I just went straight ahead and plucked it right from under the unit, past the legs, lulled into a domestic sense of security and...

Euuuuch!

It was a mouse glue trap!

Sadly, they don't tell you they catche more than mice.

This one caught flies, woodlice and yes.... spiders!

Well, it stuck to my finger, so I pulled it off.

I was shocked.

I checked the spiders by blowing on them. 2 responded. They looked sad and despondent, trapped and unable to escape.

I wanted to help them, but I was afraid of hurting them, with the glue and all.

About a week later, they were still there, living.

I had had enough and thought,"That's it! I've had enough! I'm gonna rescue them! It's my duty!", all the while remembering what the Prophet (soll Allaahu 'alayhi wa sal-lam) had said about treating living things with goodness.

Diary - I will not go into details but, despite the initial joy one of the spiders displayed at my helping it, all its legs and body came off.

I was mortified and that stayed with me all day. I was very upset. It still upsets me now, when I think about it.

The moral? Do kindness to Allah's creatures and DO NOT manufacture or buy glue traps; they contravene the hadith about showing kindness to Allah's creatures. They are cruel and painful. STOP MAKING THEM PLEASE!!!

Finally, may Allah bless my dad with good in this life and the next, because I love him a lot. Ameen.

I will end there. Adnan signing out.

Bavarian Wood Exports down at 0.

Wa-s salaam.

The With The Dying and Learning Difficulties

2005-06-17T00:08:00.000-07:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary.

Well, I have just spent two days on a course on palliative care, which I have to say was just dreamy!

I have come to the realisation, through being in charge of a whole group of them on my shifts at Shady Pines, that a young care assistant is not a nurse; yes they deliver care to the best standard they can for their training, but a nurse is a nurse. Our mentalities are completely different. I will end that subject there, unless you want to come back to me on it, Diary. You usually opt for silence - no problems, there.

The nurse lecturer we have been with for the course had the most beautiful way of speaking; in fact, after two days, it has affected the way I talk also. I wanted to get a recording so that I could play it repeatedly to internalise that way of speaking; she was a palliative care nurse, specialising in cancer.

Dear Diary - I also finally firmly accepted the fact that I probably have mild learning difficulties. Al-hamdu lillah. Something significant for those who know me personally, perhaps.

I also came to the realisation as to why I kiss anyone close to me - I was raised in a family of women; all my Grandads died when I was young, so I never got the socialisation required to prevent me from kissing MEN (mmm...). So, the men in my life to whom I am very close, will no longer need to recoil, as they usually do. Al-hamdu lillah.

As I was travelling to El Gringo's Pizza Facade, yesterday, I looked around the lit Friday night city streets, populated with young people. The thought came to me, "How many things Allah has created to worship him, but how few [people] actually do that worship?". Then the verse relating to that thought, came to me.

Oh yes - and the Environmental Health Officer has paid El Gringo's a visit. She was not pleased. Well' she should visit more than once every three years and provide adequate guidance to the staff. They expect her to give guidance to them. She's the expert, afterall. Personally, I think they have overall good standards of hygiene, in terms of food preparation. We have never had a customer come and complain about food poisoning and we only receive compliments on the quality of our food; we have many long-standing customers, some of whom we inherited from the previous owner, many years ago.

Chicken has left a message on my last post. May Allah bless her and her family always, ameen, ameen, ameen.

I have to go now, as Friday prayer calls.

All my deepest love and...

Wa-s salaam. Have a great day!

Bavarian Wood Exports down to zero.

The One With The Paws

2005-06-10T03:30:00.000-07:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary!

M. A. M. I. S. A.

Well, you have been patient, haven't you? A lot of water has gone under the bridge but at last, Adnan is BACK! In kicking form and with a (get this) NEW JOB!

Yes - now I work at a place we shall call "Shady Pines". It's a nursing home for people who want a quiet time before they meet their maker.

At the moment, the usual group dynamics are at play, and I get Fridays off (thank you and kissy kissy kiss, sweet Manager!).

I have already been embroiled in many ethical and procedural dilemmas, but hey - that's life.

And the paws? Well, actually, I meant to say "pause" (i.e. long break from writing in you), but made a bit of a pun on a word that sounds identical.

The paws belong to the resident dog at Shady Pines.

Catch ya!

All my warmest brotherly regards.

Adnan signing out.

Bavarian Wood Exports at 6 today.

Wa-s salaam.

06 April 2005: Your Links For Today

2005-04-06T07:50:00.000-07:00

3D K'aba - see the place of pilgrimage in 3D!

The One With Cheeky Britisher

2005-04-04T22:27:00.000-07:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, The Giver of Mercy.

As-salaamu 'alaykum, Dear Diary.

Well, I am sat in the internet cafe of the MadPalace, in my jim jams. I am waiting to leave this place, at His Majesty's pleasure - al-hamdu lillah!

I just phoned the bank and they said that my Visa card arrived yesterday afternoon.

I have just booked my coach ticket online and so all I must do is get dressed, collect my Visa card and then catch a local bus to the coach station.

The bus journey shouldn't take long and I have organised my ticket so that I will travel in sunshine (inshaa-a Allah) and arrive in Leeds before sunset.

That way, WahidBabe and the crew will be awake enough (hopefully) to be conducive company.

That's the plan, anyway - but Allah's in ultimate control, al-hamdu lillah.

I just checked my email and there was one from MaccyBoy. Nice to hear from him from such a great distance. When I phoned him the other day, after a long pause in the calls, it was difficult sometimes to make out his words, spoken in a fast, Scottish pace. But he's a love, anyway.

The rat was the centrepiece of discussion this morning in the kitchen. I don't know how Cheeky Britisher did not know that we had a resident rat under the cupboard, because it has been there for the past two years (so the jailor says, anyhow - and I believe him!).

Also, at the breakfast table, jailor probed me about rent again. I was slightly ruffled at his questioning as I have already told him that my week starts on a WEDNESDAY; that is the day I was charged and thrown into the MadPalace. Again, when he saw my conviction of words, his manner and questioning coalesced onto the cake that he had brought with him.

With that, I'll sign on.

Wish me well on my journey!

Salaams.

STOP PRESS ANNOUNCEMENT!

2005-04-04T09:48:00.000-07:00

STOP PRESS!!!

ShahidBabe had a baby girl last night (awwww!) - well, his wife had the baby girl and he is now a proud father, whether he likes it or not!!!

(Say prayers, everyone, for the baby's righteousness and usefulness to society, ameen!)

The One With The Guy and the "Shark Smell"

2005-04-04T07:20:00.000-07:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dearest Diary.

Well, here's a poem I just felt in the mood to write today (eat your heart out, Jalaluddin Rumi!). It is to someone whom I love deeply - in fact, more deeply than deeply!

To one whom I love

Wonderful feelings
Protected and spring
Vacuous life, sealed
By awe of Allah,
My closest brother.

Closeness at distance;
A tender, strong heart:
Youth grows with beauty
Through merciful ways,
My closest brother.

A cliff of a drop;
Yet greater than that:
Hearts intermingled
By grace of Allah -
My dearest brother.

A strong brotherhood;
Solid as a rock
I never leave you:
Connected always -
My dearest brother.

Satisified joy
Like a fresh, Spring breeze
Go and adventure
By grace of Allah
Beloved brother.

Yesterday, Muhammad Estonee (Muhammad from Estonia) - one of the MadPalace inmates was musing - as he so often does - over food in the kitchen. In one of his usually, fantastically detached episodes (which always seem to come over him when he enters the kitchen (perhaps its all the grime!)), he was wondering what odour sharks smell of???

Mmmm.... Muhammad - GET MARRIED, BOY!

Today, a man was sat in a doorway today as I went to Tescobogs to do some light shopping. He appeared asleep, which is not usual. So, I nudged him and said, "Are you okay, guy?". His eyes opened slightly but briefly. I repeated my question but no response, so I walked on. On my way back he was still there, but had slumped more and was still in the same state. This time, I checked his breathing (there was breath coming out of his nostrils) and pulse (which was 84 bpm - slightly high). A lady stopped in the street on the way past and said that she had seen the man on her way past earlier. She went into the nearest shop, where they had a phone and they phoned an ambulance. A few people stopped and asked if they could ehlp, while I crouched there, with the guy. The ambulance came quickly and took the guy away. Perhaps he was a diabetic? Allahu 'aalim.

I had the feeling yesterday that at last, and finally, my life is like my own and I am no longer stuck in my own little world. Great!

Wa-s salaam.

04 Apr 2005: Supplemental

2005-04-04T07:02:00.000-07:00

These were apparently the last 20 keyword searches that led people to you, Diary:

kalvin klein ugly model (02/04/2005 14:18:23 - Google)
yap hong ngee (01/04/2005 03:09:05 - Yahoo)
***** ********** (31/03/2005 07:37:05 - Google)
********** (30/03/2005 09:40:25 - Yahoo)

Mmmm... interesting. I wonder if old Juma has taken a peek at you, then, Diary? Naughty old him!

: ( ) > ***shocked big time***

04 Apr 2005: Your Links for Today

2005-04-03T19:15:00.000-07:00

Razi Mosque Islamic Art Gallery - Islam through pictures Wow! :( )
Rumi On Fire with "And So I Say May It Be So" Awesome : (p)

03 Apr 2005: Your Links For Today

2005-04-03T08:41:00.000-07:00

Descriptions of the Prophet Muhammad
Muhammad - A Biography of the Prophet (by Karen Armstrong)
Absolutely beautiful 'Arabic wood carvings! Oh my Allah!
Trevor Baylis' clockwork radio
Tasteless Terri Schiavo blog

02 Apr 2005: Words From Your Friends

2005-04-02T01:03:00.000-08:00

Ibn Abbas, radiyallahu 'anhu, reported that the Messenger of Allah, related from his Lord (glorified and exalted be He):

"Verily Allah has recorded the good deeds and the evil deeds." Then he clarified that: "Whosoever intends to do a good deed but does not do it, Allah records it with Himself as a complete good deed; but if he intends it and does it, Allah records it with Himself as ten good deeds, up to seven hundred times, or more than that. But if he intends to do an evil deed and does not do it, Allah records it with Himself as a complete good deed; but if he intends it and does it, Allah records it down as one single evil deed." (Bukhari and Muslim)

2 Apr 2005: Your Links For Today

2005-04-02T00:55:00.000-08:00

Islamophobia ‘rife among young’ (The Times newspaper)
Statement against terrorism (Center for the study of Islam and Democracy)
The Noble Quran with recitation in PDF format (islamway.com)

The One With the Tiny Feet

2005-04-02T00:52:00.000-08:00

In the Name of Allah, The Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy.

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary.

Well, it's beautiful outside today and my new suitcase is packed. The old one is stood by the exit to this level of the MadPalace, waiting for the Jailor to move it to the bins, as is his job.

I felt the other day that staying here for the weekend when I could be in Bradford, doing things more interesting and fruitful to me, was a bit of a waste.

I have changed this opinion, after thinking about it and see it more as a break from work, before the slog starts once more. Therefore, I am now enjoying it.

There is restlessness in waiting, as I have lots of pent-up energy, waiting to be poured into something fruitful: I have discussed this point with another floating inmate here today and yesterday: we feel no fulfilment here, whatever we do. It seems only marriage will end this restlessness with fulfilment and the wonder of companionship and the patter of tiny feet.

My beard is growing back now: Mr Chris has been put away for the time being, as I don't need
him now. I cried when I realised I could grow my beard back – I miss it and I don't want to have to give it up ever again.

I have thought that it will probably be easier to gat a job while sporting Mr Chris' goatee, though: the majority of jobs that I am eligible for usually have a woman interviewing and I am sure that the beard is one factor why I never get the job. Guess I don't look right. This being the case, I might do the "goatee" thing again, for interviews (and then grow it back, when I get the job!). I hope that this situation does not arise though.

Zaf PM'd me the other day. He had obviously been unaware that I had a goatee. He said that someone he knew had seen me and reported to him, but he didn't believe it. I confirmed that what he had heard was true. He said that he believed that I had a good reason for doing it.

Wa-s salaam.

The One With Tony Blair

2005-03-31T07:05:00.000-08:00

In the Name of Allah, The Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy.

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear, dear Diary.

A. T. A. I. U.

Well, I am ready to set off for Bradistan. My new suitcase is bulging with all my worldly possessions. Many people seem aware and sad that I'm going; Frenchie came to my room today to bid me farewell, because he thought I was going today, which I am not.

The Imam was giving a good khutba today about "role models".

He said that our role models are the companions of the Prophet (soll Allahu 'alayhi wa sal-lam), and that unless we teach our children about them, they will grow up following different role models.

Today, he spoke about the fourth leader of the Muslims – Umar ibn Al-Khattaab. In fifteen minutes, he gave a snapshot of his character.

Before Islam, he was the cruellest of people. The Prophet made prayers that either he or the head of the Prophet's people became Muslim. Umar became Muslim from the two of them.

At this point, the Imam mentioned that nobody would think it, but it would be a good du'aa to ask Allah to make Tony Blair a Muslim, using this prayer of the Prophet as evidence.

He gave a few examples from Umar's life, as leader of the Muslim empire, showing that if an animal stumbled in any part of the Muslim lands, Umar used to be scared, because of his duty to Allah for not paving the way for that animal; he used to wear raggedy clothes and did not have a palace or body guards – nobody who met him could believe he was the leader of an empire, as he was so shabbily dressed; he was once caught chasing a camel, on which, one the companions remarked, "Umar, how can it be that you are doing this? You are the leader of the Muslims!", to which Umar replied, "This camel has been given in charity, and it is the property of the Muslims – I fear that Allah would call me to account for not safeguarding it".

The announcement afterwards centred on a Muslim school in Cardiff which has done very well in SATS tests. The brother mentioned that due to (Pakistanis) being brought up in this society, they get conflicting messages and end up with "split personalities". He also mentioned that the home should be a safe "capsule" for children to escape to, which would be free of bad influences from this society.

VinegarSniffer has gone to Oxford and various people are already lined up to snatch my cell, which I hope to vacate (after living here for 6 months!) on Monday next week.

I'll sign out until then.

Wa-s salaam.

31 Mar 2005: Your Quote For Today

2005-03-31T06:32:00.001-08:00

Looking for God...

"I went looking for God in a Church and didn't find Him there.
Then I went to a Synagogue and didn't find Him there.
I went to a Mosque and didn't find Him there.
Then I looked in my heart, and there He was." (Rumi)

31 Mar 2005: Your Links For Today

2005-03-31T06:32:00.000-08:00

Muslim-Christian dialogue regarding Allah's mercy
Birmingham: Spiritual[c]ity - an Islamic Oasis

The One With The Jews and Titillation

2005-03-29T03:33:00.000-08:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy.

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary.

Well, I'm feeling a little more furtive today than in pervious ones. I put it down to the exercise that I have just engaged in: straight after Thuhr prayer, a container from the docks to the MadPalace came full of about 2,000 boxes of free literature to tell people about Islam. At first, all I saw was the Jailor wielding a box, and so I asked him (in a very demure manner, while curtseying, of course), if he needed any help. He said that it was okay. I looked out the door and saw there were a lot of inmates working on bringing boxes in, so I just thought, "Well, the reward is with Allah in the hereafter!" and got stuck in. I formed part of a chain, and the boxes were quickly transported off the container truck. There was food afterwards, in the MadPalace kitchen, upstairs.

Well, I've made istikhaarah to move back to good old Bradistan. Colleague99 gave me nearly a thousand pounds in money and told me I did not need to come back to work again. That was a very nice gesture. There are some provisional places for me to stay up there and I have started my job search.

I have faith that Allah will provide for me, just as he has done every day I have been on the Earth, al-hamdulah wa-sh shukra.

I telephoned Israr the other day. I've come to the realisation that he has a really pleasant, easy-going and kind disposition. I have not always seen him in this light. He additionally has lots of drive and tries his best: Allah gives him some brilliant ideas. He's also part of my family and is a great support, bi-idhni-llahi ta'aalaa.

I also had a realisation regarding the Quran: Allah speaks to people according to their state and condition: this to me seems to be shown through the length of verses (some are very short and some are long) and the rhythm; just like you would address anyone yourself, except that Allah always hits the mark perfectly and gives the perfect reply. When I had this realisation the other day, I was flicking backwards and forwards through the Quran, to see how Allah has addressed the different peoples mentioned in the Quran. It was exciting and refreshing at the same time, al-hamdu lillah.

I spoke to StrawberrySplitz the other day again and told him of my scheme to secrete myself in Bradistan: the subject eventually got onto the subject of you, Diary. He asked "when I was going to be updating it". I said that I put a new entry in yesterday. He said he'd check, which I can see from my site stats that he appears to have done so.

Which brings me to another subject: writing blogs.

As one blogger mentioned (I can't remember who it was) you start writing a blog for personal reasons and then when the word gets out (or in my case, deliberately gets passed around by the person writing the blog), it becomes a case of "writing for the audience"; in essence, you have to draw a fine line between titillation for your adoring readers, your own personal – and valuable – daily reflections, ethics and morals and the laws of libel and slander.

Basically, it's tough.

…. But someone gotta do it.

… and dat someone iz me.

But I must say, I really miss Bradistan. It's part of me and no matter where I go, I always come back. Strange. I always say that it really has nothing to offer; a deadbeat sort of place, but I love it (I wonder if it loves me?). The only other geographical place that has this type of affection in my heart is Medina, in Saudi Arabia, which also just feels completely like home - also, the fairytale sunsets and the Prophet's mosque are just amazing. I have my own little routine in Bradistan; I walk to mosque and back for the prayers, making sure I brush my teeth and make ablution before setting out, for extra rewards; I work all week and then on weekends it's El Gringo's Pizza Facade with WahidBabe and the gang.

And in amongst all that, I have to avoid those toerags who accost me on the street with the shout "Jew!", when I walk past. These are the completely moronic and ignorant offspring of the even more moronic and ignorant people who came to this country in the 60's with outright racist and zenophobic attitudes. You can spot their offspring easily, as they hang around in groups on streets in Muslim areas of the city, usually all dressing identically in jogging suits and expensive Nike trainers (some with half-shaved heads, some dripping in gold jewellery), and with a mean age of about 14. They claim to be Muslim, but they don't seem to know:

(a) The tremendous rights of respecting the neighbour
(b) The People of the Book (i.e. Jews, Christians etc.) must be spoken to in a respectful manner
(c) Islam states that people must not loiter around the streets, but if they can not do otherwise, then they must lower the gaze and give the *** APPROPRIATE *** greetings to passers-by.
(d) Allah is watching them and WILL call them to account.

They inspired my Haiku, in the "Haiku Top Ten by Adnan Jensen" (see entry for Wednesday, March 16, 2005)

Anyway, going back will make it easy for me to keep my relationships with the people important to me and that's what matters.

I don't know where a job will come from; I don't know where a place to stay will come from. Inshaa-a Allah, we are all trying, so Allah will help us, ameen.

As my old dad says: "...make du'aa, innit?..."

With that, I will draw this entry to a close.

Adnan signing out.

Bavarian Wood Exports up at 22.

Wa-s salaam.

27 Mar 05: Your Picture For Today

2005-03-27T02:29:00.000-08:00

The Prophet's Mosque in Madina, Saudi Arabia
(click to swim to The Opening)

26 Mar 05: Your Links For Today

2005-03-26T08:25:00.000-08:00

"God created Earth in six days" may be taught to nurses
Super-rish hide trillions off shore
British Government is openly and covertly racist
National Coalition of Anti-Deportation Campaigns

The One Where It Ends

2005-03-25T10:32:00.000-08:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy.

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary -

Well, the end comes to another era in my life. Just like with Bilbo Baggins' book, each much take a turn in the telling. I have been given a month's notice from Colleague99 to find a new job. Also, he is changing the locks, as my key was in my bag on the way to Bradistan. I am to meet him on at Tuesday-12PM showdown at work...

da...da...daaaaaaa!

I am also missing Pandora a lot and feeling quite melancholic. What can one do?:

My father's heart and soul
Have gone halfway up the pole
My father's on the dole
This is taking its toll
My friend Wahid is much too old
And his sleep's beyond control
Though it sometimes seems they're droll
It's a nuisance on the whole

I'm profoundly in love with Pandora

My poem has an intellectual theme
The tenderness with which I adore her
Goes all bouncy in my dreams

Yesterday my chin was not clear
Now a goatee has appeared
Colleague99 had cost me dear
Till my Israr volunteered
Big Brother knows I'm sincere
In making volunteering my career
Wish my sister would come back here
Lots of ups and downs this year...

I'm profoundly in love with Pandora

She's got shalwar kameez and and flair
The tenderness with which I adore her
Is something fine and rare

But, my father's in a mess
And there's a great deal of stress
At his house
And my major concern
Is that things might return
To normal
So get married right away
And come back and have a sway
In your house
We all miss you dad
So hurry up and come
Back home

My father's heart and soul
Have gone halfway up the pole
Though it sometimes seems they're droll
It's a nuisance on the whole
Yesterday my chin was unclear
Now a goatee has appeared...

Profoundly in love with Pandora

Wish my sister would come back here
Lots of ups and downs this year
I'm profoundly in love with Pandora
Things aren't always what they seem
The tenderness with which I adore her
Is indeed a love supreme.

Well, I have made my ad'eey-yah and after making a mischievious, devious telephone call to someone today, I might have a new job to go to! Hoorah and al-hadu lillahi robbi-l 'aalameen!

But you know? Everyone I have ever met has always seemed terribly worried about my work and personal life; what's going to happen now you don't have a job; Pandora's not yet with you after three years, etc. Even when I was doing my university course, people asked me what I was going to do after it.

But you know, Diary, for all of these things, and every thing else that seems to happen to me in terms of work or my personal life, I just know that something is supposed to happen, in the future, regardless of what I am doing and how other people see things.

I mean, I don't just think it - it's as though I am made to feel that something is supposed to happen in the future, but I have absolutely no idea what... it's comforting. I just carry on, with everything around me, feeling and believing strongly that there is something there... waiting. I always wonder what it is and it always gives me a sense of happiness.

I know that other people see that I am doing a job or am married or trying to achieve something and that's why they get uptight when things don't happen as they perceive they should.

But I don't think of it like that - I just feel as if I should be at a certain place, at a certain time, where the things that I am doing don't really have a bearing on what is supposed to happen in the future. There is something waiting for me, but I don't know what it is.

Nobody understands this about Adnan's life, except me. Let them be who they are in peace. May Allah forgive and bless them all.

VinegarSniffer had gone to Oxford for a few days, with Ahmed and Colleague99 has said that I don't need to come into the office from now on, although he'll pay me in full. Nice of him. I wonder if the ad'eey-yah I made have taken effect... I believe so.

VinegarSniffer got terrible pain in his teeth the other night, and although he played it down, I said we should go to A&E, at the local hospital. The dentist had closed, so we went back today. Again, I had to coax Vinegar, as he said that the pain had subsided. I said yes, but it might come back and it is better to be safe than sorry. I was correct to do it, as it turned out he had manky teeth and an abcess. I said on the bus home, that, if left untreated, he could die of septicaemia.

It was strange when we were in the A&E waiting room the other night. I instinctively went into nurse mode. It's amazing how effective the training you receive is. I instinctively advised a patient opposite, to raise his arm, as directed by the nurse, as he had severed his hand and it was bleeding. I kept gently advising him, as we were called to see the nurse. Strange. It stays with you for life. I noticed the nonchalant and indifferent attitude of much of the nursing staff. My sister-in-law asked me why I didn't go back into it. I said that I might, but that it seems as though a lot of the people in nurse training are not very friendly and are just in it for the money. You can't make people care; it's something which one must do voluntarily and naturally.

Anyway, my bag got lost at Leeds, or rather, I left it on the coach - so chilled was I with the National Express ride. ShahidBabe has picked agreed to pick it up and Israr has said he will collect it from ShahidBabe, as he is very busy. I mean, I asked ShahidBabe to pop it in at Israr's the other day, but he got dragged to Birmingham. The briefcase holds top secret documents that need to be processed and passed to officials for Pandora's release from the Security Services...

WahidBabe has successfully moved into a new house which is a through terrace, meaning he can use both back and front of the house. It's only a stone's throw away from his dad's house adn overlooks where he used to live. The house is spacious and has a warmth to it. I really love this house. There is even a room for me in it, upstairs. I asked Allah to bless it. It is beautiful and so are some of the things that happen in it, al-hamdu lillah.

There's only one problem returning to Bradistan each month, which is that I have only limited time to visit WahidBabe and crew; Israr and crew; my old man and crew; StrawberrySplitz and co; the gang at the mosque. Invariably, I don't do them justice. I need a full week to spend time with them all, but invariably, I end up mainly at El Gringo Pizza (which although it is seedy, it always manages to amuse, what with the good company and customers).

StrawberrySplitz was filling me in on the latest gossip, in a mid-day jaunt in his car on the secind day of my stay - we managed to fit it in, during Wahid's usual snore-a-thon, pre-El Gringo. Well, Strawberry gave me the latest on DonerKebab: it appears that he's had to scale down his security business, as a really big firm has won all the contracts... I don't understand - I thought that Doner was as cheap as you could get... sad news, but apparently, he's moved onto mobile phones or something else entrepreneurial... watch this space, for more of his (greasy) dealings!

Before I left Israr's (we were watching the first part of Lord of the Rings - Israr says he watches it over and over (just like me)), my dear, little nephew asked if I could stay next time overnight. I said yes of course, but why should he need to ask that? It should come as standard, you know.

Dear Diary, I am just not doing justice to the ones I love. May Allah forgive me. I know they understand, as they are an understanding bunch, but sometimes, it seems as though I'm taking liberties, even though I'm not.

As time goes on, my relationships deepen with the people whom I am close to, many of whom I have met recently. Those I have known for a very long time - since I became a Muslim - have already reached their maturity. They are the old, friendly faces that I see when I go to the mosque and other places; ArshadBabe and Abdur Raheem; IncredibleHulk and Mujjie.

The amazing thing about life as a Muslim is that, when you look back, you know that whatever you were doing on any given day, wherever you were, you did five daily prayers. That is really all that stays with any continuity through all those experiences. The people come and go; places change; YOU change and grow - you even forget the good deeds that Allah has enabled you to do - but solah, prayer: like an old friend, it remains a treasure, beautifying all those situations, which far down the line only mean something because you know you did your five prayers throughout them, good, bad or indifferent.

Adnan signing out.

Bavarian Wood Exports up 5 at 9.

Wa-s salaam.

26 Mar 05:Your Haiku For Today

2005-03-25T10:05:00.000-08:00

If Allah does not exist,
Then why do we feel bad
When we do wrong?

The One With The Diet

2005-03-16T07:41:00.000-08:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy.

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary,

Well, I have been very busy recently, and lots of things have happened that I wanted to mention - all of interest. Most notably, I had a very important reflection. I thought that for this entry, I would go "haiku". I did think of doing this for every entry, but on second thoughts, I felt that it would become monotonous.

So here goes (boooooogeee, man! Yah! Raaaaaasssss!

I'm Adnan Jensen, here again this week with the top line up of your favorite haiku's. So here we go.....

And, at the number 1 slot we have..... VinegarSniffer with "It's My Prayer and I'll Do It If I Want To" - yeah - cool yeah, man! Sniff it!:

VinegarSniffer's on a diet.
He's losing weight:
Very fast.

Up three places to number 2 this week, we have..... Colleague99 with "Look Who's Boss" - dig it, maaaaan!:

Moaner:
He's nothing but a moaner -
When he's pooped, he beefs on big style.

For WahidBabe who's been sailing up the charts steadily now for the last month (mainly because he's got a replacement car for the courtesy car that got stolen - dohhh!), he's in this week at.....

Number 3 with "Oppressor Obsession":

Moving house;
Stolen vehicles:
WahidBabe's in a right old pickle.

Down 2 at Number 4 in the charts this week we have the still sizzling Comrade Chicken with "Away with a Fag":

Chicken, Chicken!
Where art thou:
I miss the flapping of your chicken wings.

Steady away at number 5, it's Bleach and Electricity with "Sparks Get Ya In Da Kitchen....

Fat rat!
Tried to kill it with bleach:
(Hit the MadPalace electricity!)

New at number 6, this week, we have LP with "We Reelly Wahnna do Sammin' Abaht Ahs":

We're in this together
But no religion:
Two yearly issues - cool!

Another newcomer at number 7 - just in but a big hit is My Little Man with "Lip Stick Bush Guantan-a-Mo." - dig those high heels: tasty!...

Monkey face:
Allah's gonna get ya:
Cage your fat little ass in Hellfire.

In at number 8 we have the Thick Boy Crew with "Racist - No Reason":

Basins in da kitchen
But ya cut 'em on ya 'ed:
Nah it look naf.

Down ten at number 9, is Adnan Mole with, "It Just Gets Betterer":

The weight comes off; cracks go:
Walkin' on cloud five million
And lovin' it.

And at number 10 this week, we have Caring Eyes with "I'm not getting it":

Cheeky noone
Biscuits fly from my room:
Only a neighbour can help.

And that's it for today, Diary. Thanks for being there and listening to me babble on, as you always - most kindly do. Until next time....

Bavarian Wood Exports down at 4.

Adnan signing out.

Wa-s salaam.

16 Mar 2005: Your Haiku For Today

2005-03-16T03:55:00.000-08:00

Look what you've achieved
Now build on your success:
Your life's worth so much!
A Haiku Homepage - How to write Haiku

15 Mar 2005: Your Picture for Today

2005-03-15T05:49:00.000-08:00

Summer Sky - Beach Point
(Click to go for a surf)

4 Mar 2004: Your Picture for Today

2005-03-04T05:54:00.000-08:00

Two Ducks courtesy of Paul Neave
(click to float gently to serenity - with the ducks!)

4 Mar 2005: Your Haiku For Today

2005-03-04T05:44:00.000-08:00

Where does the time go?
Hollow carriers of filth:
Life's realities.
A Haiku Homepage - How to write Haiku

The One With The Sniffer and Goo

2005-03-04T05:37:00.000-08:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy

As-salaamu ‘alaykum, dear Diary.

Well, a few things have transpired since we last graced each other’s presences. Here is a blow-by-blow account (in no particular order) of more of the exciting happenings in the life of “Adnan – Muslim *** E X T R O A D I N A I R E ***” (I kid you not!):

a. There is a woman in my life called “Pandora” (but if my dad asks about where I am, I am with you, okay?)

b. I spoke to StrawberrySplitz last night on the mobile, and apologised for missing him every time I float back to Bradistan. We arranged to meet at the mosque at a pre-arranged time which will fit around WahidBabe’s sleeping (snoring) routine, and there was talk of a bite to eat – yay! (I plan to tell Strawberry that the bill is on him. He won’t mind!).

c. I also learnt from Strawberry that DonerKebab is still logging into you and remarks that, “He should write a bloody book! This is good stuff!”. I told Strawberry that I was writing and a book and that he was reading it! LOL.

d. I watched the programme on Channel 4 about the mock Guantanamo experiment performed on several willing UK participants, while in the UK. The behaviour of the mock guards made me laugh, with the exception of them stripping people (I have to say it: naked. Sorry for that). The best part was when one of the participants – Umar – was interviewed after exiting the experiment because the guards were about to strip him (naked). He said that, “…No one can see those parts of your body…”, which made me really happy to hear.

e. At work, I have had variously (through the walls) opera singing from the neighbours on one side of the office and screaming from the other neighbours (?). Sing after me: “…Spring is in the air, (la la la la la la la la la la laaaaa….)”.

f. There is one thing about women: not only do I like them, but they do not have an effect on me with the way that they (do or don’t) dress, per se: however, there is one thing that they can do, which instantly turns me to a quivering goo inside, and this was borne out in one of my daily treks to Tescos, one evening, earlier this week, because the cashier who attended to me was a woman. It was okay until she started up a conversation with me, with her nice, female voice etc. That was it! I just instantly turned to squirmy jelly inside and got the urge to be a million miles away from where I was standing. So, yes, women affect me when they open their lips and speak. Al-hamdu lillah, it does not happen often for such prolonged periods.

g. About my current cellmate: I have decided to give him a name, based on a practical joke I played on him last week: At some point, I got this most peculiar urge to purchase and eat a full jar of pickled onions – I don’t know why; perhaps I’m pregnant (nah – no way!). Anyway, I was there, sat on my bed, reading the Times, late in the evening, having got home from work etc. When my cell mate walked in, some time after I had eaten the onions, he remarked on the pong in the room (LOL). I said, “Oh yes- that will be the pickled onions…” and then I set about explaining what pickled onions are, and how they come in vinegar. This is because he is from another country and is here for his language skills; so he doesn’t understand about everything here, like food, swear words and English turns of phrase. Anyway, a wicked, little thought came to me, on his remark about the smell and not being someone to miss a little practical joke, with no further a do, I laid my plan…

When I returned home, the next day, my cell mate had his walkman headphones on, and so didn’t hearing me knock as I came in. I said,”Ooooh! That smell is still strong in here [LOL]!” He replied that indeed it was, and we just carried on with our routines, as usual. I should add that he had opened a window wide (even though it was freezing outside) and had washed some socks in very strong (but nice) smelling washing detergent (I presume, to mask the vinegar smell). It worked almost, but there was still the background smell of onions.

Well, later on, it came time to close the windows and shutters and bed down for the night.

…as my cell mate was closing one of the shutters, near the top of his bed, he noticed something lurking under his bed.

…on closer inspection, he discovered – can you guess what?

… the open, finished jar of pickled onions with the vinegar still in it!

...So his new name is “VinegarSniffer”. ;) and his new name for me is “OnionBoy!” : ( )

Ho! Ho! I almost wet myself with laughter! Al-hamdu lillah, he saw the funny side!

h. There is a cell mate in another cell in the MadPalace who has been totally ignoring me now for months, and I have absolutely no idea why. I have asked other colleagues in the Noble MadPalace to intervene, as I failed to get anything out of this cell mate on questioning him yesterday in the kitchen. I will keep you posted. It will be interesting to see what he has to say…. Although some cell mates I was talking to say that he ignores them too sometimes and is a bit moody. I said that with me it was not “sometimes”, though – it was “all the bloody time”. This is not acceptable behaviour between human beings. Anyway….

i. The storming phase of my relationship with Colleague99 has probably come to an end today, and I think we’re moving into the “performing” stage – although, I will be keeping my eye on him…

And that’s all for the time being. No real reflective entries as such.

Bavarian Wood Exports sadly down at 4.

Adnan signing out. Ciao babe.

Wa-s salaam

The One With the Gold Mines

2005-02-28T05:40:00.000-08:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary.

Today, I have added a little prayer timetable to you, as a nice little feature, to adorn you with something which is more beloved to me than anything: my daily talks with my Creator and his replies back to me.

I heard FatherM make a beautiful statement, the other day, while he was talking about how the story of Adam in the Quran completely invalidates the idea of racism. He said that the Prophet Muhammad had been asked who were the best (people)? And he had replied, as a prophet for all of the people, until the Day of Judgement that, "All the people are likes mines of gold and silver", meaning that there is good in every one of us - Allah has created us all that way - but that it must be extracted from each person differently and with some, it is easier to extract it than with others. The similitudes that my prophet makes are always so perfect and wholesome.

I was reading in the Times the other day, about one writer of a book who was quoted as saying out of his book that Muslims had to realise that you can't follow a dead prophet.

I found that offensive.

Although I don't believe that the writer was meaning to be offensive.

Then, yesterday, I attended a talk by Khalid Yasin on the subject of "Jesus - the history and the mystery", in which he took quotes of what Jesus said - directly from quotes from various versions of the Bible, showing how it contrasted with what the Council of Nicea decreed and also what Paul was commonly alleged to have written.

By the end of the lecture, one person had accepted Islam.

Khalid had quoted Jesus as saying, "No man has seen God", which would lead one to wonder what led the Council of Nicea to declare that Jesus was God and part of God, as everyone had seen Jesus.

He also quoted Jesus as saying, "I of my own self can do nothing", whereas the Council said that the three parts of the "Trinity" were equal in every respect. He also went on to quote out of the Lord's Prayer, where Jesus states, "OUR Father who art in Heaven", as opposed to a Nicean version of, "My Father who art in Heaven" or "Me who is in Heaven".

And, "Give US this day OUR daily bread", indicating that Jesus ate and, as a consequence of eating and digesting did other things that humans do, even as a baby, and that must not attribute such things to God. He went on further to say, "FORGIVE us", indictaing that God commits sins.

He also reported how on when questioning someone as to why Paul's words were taken literally, while Jesus' were taken figuratively, he was told that Paul was a learned person and therefore more authoritative than the Disciples!

This is shocking, given that Paul started out as a bounty hunter who persecuted Christians like nobody else and never met Jesus in his life, while the Disciples ate, slept, drank and spent all their time with Jesus (peace be upon him).

He also mentioned about the whole event on which Christianity is hinged: the conversion of Paul on his way to Damascus:

Apparently, Paul was with two other people. They were riding on donkeys. Paul says that he was blinded by a light, and fell off his donkey. He saw "Jesus", who said to him, "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?".

The first thing that was pointed out was that Saul had never ever met Jesus - so how did he know what Jesus looked like? The second point he mentioned was that none of the other two people who were with Saul saw anything, so we only have Saul's testimony. The third point was at what point did Saul regain his sight from being "blinded"? This alleged event - the uncorroborated testimony of one man (who was a Christian persecutor) which is taken unquestioningly, is the corner stone of Christianity.

He concluded by saying that nowhere in the many versions of the Bible does Jesus ever direct his followers ONCE to worship him, by saying, "I am God - worship me". He said that he was willing to give £1000 to the person in the audience who could find the quote in a version of the Bible.

I thought about what the author of that "dead prophet" remark had said. It briefly crossed my mind how nice it would be to send an email to the Times, but as I have done that before and they don't publish them, I thought,

"What's the point?"

I was reading the Quran the next day, and the page fell open at the Chapter of the Cow, before I started reading.

It was the part where Allah is telling the Prophet Muhammad about the scene in which Prophet Jacob was on his death bed and advsing his sons, about their worship, before he died.

Then Allah goes on to talk about the other prophets (in Jacob's speech). Then it came back to me about what that author had said.

Already in the Quran, there is an answer to every question that anyone will ever ask until the Day of Judgement, and I realised that this substantial tract was the answer to that author.

The essence of the tract was that these previous (dead) prophets had followed the same message - the one that Jacob was advising his sons to follow. I thought, "Yes - believe in the message of Jacob who is a dead prophet and I believe in the message of Noah who is a dead prophet and I believe in the message of Lot who is a dead prophet and I believe in the message of Ezekiel who is a dead prophet and I believe in the message of Jonah who is a dead prophet.... and I believe in the message of Jesus and so on". What I was saying to the author in my mind was, "The message of these previous prophets was not "Jesus is your god, therefore worship him". No - there message was ,"Your God is one God, so worship him". Jesus (peace be upon him) was nowhere on the scene.

Apparently, Khalid said that the Roman Catholic Church is in the process of making Mary part of God now. He indicated that she has risen from being herself immaculately conceived (even though she had a mother and father), to being, "The Queen of Heaven" to now, it seems, "God Himself" (?)

Mmm... anyway, he cleared the mystery very pleasantly, pushing what was from Paul and the Council of Nicea in terms of mystery, back onto them, and clearing what Jesus said, as something definitely separate and clear and beautiful, al-hamdu lillah. He cleared Jesus of the blasphemy, he cleared God of the monstrous and he set the record straight by pointing out the criminals who polluted Jesus' pure teachings with confusion.

Bavarian Wood Exports steady at 6.

Adnan signing out.

Wa-s salaam.

28 Feb 2005: Your Haiku For Today

2005-02-27T17:43:00.000-08:00

They gave confusion
Nicean Council and Paul:
Jesus was Muslim.
A Haiku Homepage - How to write Haiku

25 Dec 2004: Your Haiku For Today

2005-02-25T03:30:00.000-08:00

Droopy trouser boys
Think they look cool but they don't:
Allah sees your hearts.
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The One With the Droopy Pants

2005-02-25T03:26:00.000-08:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary.

Well, over the past few weeks, more and more, a reverse of importance has taken root within me: my perceptions more and more with each passing day is that the five times when I speak to my Creator and Owner are the real parts of the day, where all other parts are in reality, nothing more than an illusion.

The Friday sermon today: SheikhyBabe was talking about Allah's forgiveness. He was saying that Allah likes us to ask Him for forgiveness more than anything, and if we ask for it, he always grants it. He was saying that the Prophet Muhammad used to instruct us to ask Allah for forgiveness, saying, "By Allah, I ask Allah for forgiveness more than one hundred times a day" - this was despite that fact that he was forgiven all his sins, past and future, if any. He said that there were benefits attached to asking for forgiveness, one being that Allah will send down rain and another being that Allah will increase your strength. He mentioned that we should ask Allah's forgiveness often, after every action. He said that we ask forgiveness three times after each prayer, even though the prayer is a virtuous action. He said that this was to make up for any deficiencies in the prayer. Subhaan Allah!

On a different note, there is a phenomenon which I have observed which causes me to laugh when I see it on the streets, as it seems so strange: In the last month or so, I have observed (at different times) two young men, wearing their trousers in such a way as though they were about to fall off their backsides. You see some strange things, but in most cases, in this society, they do not affect you. But with this particular phenomenon I find it difficult to contain a smile and a laugh: the young men that dress in this way appear to walk awkwardly, and seem to "waddle" like a duck or clown. I'm sorry but it's just hilarious.... I wonder which demented idol it is that they are worshipping at this delicate and impressionable time of their lives....?

My mother in-law is not well and shortly to go into hospital, so I told my secretary I would make duaa for her, which I did on the bus, this afternoon, while going for Friday Prayer. May Allah cure her, ameen.

Well, that's all for today. See you shortly, beloved Diary!

Bavarian Wood Exports down today at 5.

Adnan signing out.

Wa-s salaam.

The One Where Dad is Right For Once

2005-02-24T03:37:00.000-08:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary.

Well, I have been neglecting you. That is because I have had a change of routine. There was a break today with Colleague99 having to go home early, to see to some domestic arrangements.

Since we last met, there have been several events which have taken place, not least a new realisation, which was as follows:

I always used to think that my Dad was a really forgetful type of guy, but that he was like that on purpose, until one day, he remembered to collect one of my little brothers from their grandfather's house but forgot the other one. Then, I realised that when he had uttered that immortal phrase of his, "When I get up in the morning, I forget everything", he wasn't pulling my leg. I do love my dad.

But what has brought that to my mind recently, is my own relationship with my secretary: one day I will phone her and she will be really nice; the next day can be a totally different story - and it's not because I have intrinsically changed. This made me realise, what everyone knows - but what you get to actually live out - is that every day is different. When you're married, and you live with someone else who can change from one day to the next, you really DO tend to disregard much of what happens on a daily basis, because it will probably change very shortly.

So, I really do now live life from day to day. I mean, I did before, but now I conveniently forget things as well - just like my good, old dad. Before, I lived only until the end of the day, as the Prophet Muhammad told me to: now I forget what happened, or at least totally disregard it.

I have changed. Well, Chicken - eat your heart out: beat that for a reflective entry. Hah!

Bavarian Wood Exports up at 6 today.

Adnan signing out.

Wa-s salaam.

24 Dec 2004: Your Haiku For Today

2005-02-24T03:25:00.000-08:00

Many types of love
From agape to sanguine:
Proof that God exists.
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10 Feb 2004: Your Picture for Today

2005-02-10T05:21:00.000-08:00

Autumn #2 by Shing Mun
(Courtesy: art.gallery.my)
- click for a afternoon surf to the women at Watergate!

Condolezza Rice, Sardines and Nail biting

2005-02-10T04:49:00.000-08:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy.

As-salaamu ‘alaykum, dear dear Diary

Well, over the past few days, Colleague99 has sent me to far away places yet again and now I know why he really didn’t accompany me: my feet were killing me and my shoulders were paining me, when I returned.

I had been sent to collect covert information at an exhibition somewhere in the UK on companies to whom we could peddle our products. Needless to say, I didn’t really find a great deal – in fact, none – apart from two general distributors of general goods. But I did use my nouse (slang: brain, head, intelligence, etc.) and target a few manufacturers and distributors for an up-and-coming product (which will remain nameless here – heh heh!).

It was a good experience though. I even found there was a prayer room. To find it, though, warranted a lot of puzzled, worried and downright “frowny” looks from various attendants.

After being given complex directions to “go this way and then that” and “speak to this person” and “nod at that person” and “say the magic password”, there appeared the prayer room (or as it was also called throughout my strategic fact-finding mission – eat your heart out, Condolezza Rice - the "Quiet Room"). How did I know it was a prayer room? Not because it was clearly signposted (at this “international” exhibition hall) or because there was nice door plate, informing me so, but because this little door, tucked away in the depths of a corridor, in the depths of a huge hall bore a word processed sheet (Times New Roman, methinks), stating “PRAYER ROOM”.

It was an abandoned dressing room, which had all the furniture removed. I believe it was a last ditch effort at catering for people who in most exhibition centre people psyche’s don’t “really” exist – I mean, pray (???): business? Prayer? What’s the link? Nah – business people don’t pray….

And so, we sadly find a terrible stereotype, thrust onto us by a “supposed” international exhibition centre. Ah – but at least I don’t have the paranoid need of the homosexuals to proselytise my genuine requirements and rights in society….

And one of the people I met there said that even this effigy of a prayer room only came about this year: last year, they were looking for any little crevice they could find.

So I got home. As I felt quite ill, I did some shopping at Tesco's, as there was nothing in at home, and my body was craving all types of food from carbs to fruit to the Times Newspaper (read: biased Conservative establishment “food” for the mind). After whipping up a rice-based incarnation (did you know that sardines are only about 40p, compared with tuna at around 70p? It’s true and they are yummy!), my cellmate entered. He said that I was a great cellmate and that he was happy to be with me. He wants me to go to visit him in his country someday. Who knows? If the Firm ever pays me enough, I might just do that. He says it’s lovely and green in summer and his mom’s food is just great (well, I suppose everyone is going to say that).

Anyway, we talked so long about ***VARIOUS*** issues, that my rice concoction went cold. I said to my cellmate, “Remember – never eat a cold rice, because congealed fat tastes awful”, as I was forecedly spooning-in the last few mouthfuls off the greasy plate. I wouldn’t mind – I pay good money for the olive oil – you would think it would taste the same cold! Some hope! Well, at least I’m not starving.

When I hopped into bed, I was only there briefly before having to jump out again – to get some water. As soon as I got back in, I was violently shivering.

I guess, I had caught a chill. While I was shivering, I just said istiaadhah and shortly after, the shivering went away.

This morning – as for the past few mornings, we have been joyfully knocked-up (I mean on our cell doors) at precisely 0555h by “Big, Big Brother”. Yes – there is someone bigger than Big Brother”, but curiously, he is only about five foot tall and comes from Saudi (I believe). What he doesn’t know of course is that I find it extremely insulting to be woken up for Morning Prayer, as this suggests that I – unlike the other oiks that are cell-dwellers at the Mad Palace, and who majoritally have only come to the UK for money, even though some of them have been here for three years and can barely speak a word of English – accepted Islam not because of mommy or daddy and the fifty generations previous who called themselves Muslims. No – I accepted Islam with full knowledge of what it meant to do worship and obey my Creator, as all humans should naturally do. This being the case, when someone from an alien, visiting culture knocks on MY door – in the heart of the land I call “home”, I get very offended. Very offended.

Besides which, there is this little place called, “China” that makes what are commonly known as, “mobile phones with alarm facilities”, and I do quite nicely with one of these “mobile phones”, thereby bypassing the need for a kind, Saudi Arabian man to come on knock on my door, in England.

I am quite certain that Big, Big Brother is blissfully unaware of this situation and thinks I am in need – like the young, oiks on my prison level – of a waking-up each morning, because I spend all night talking and irritating the crap out of my neighbours, while talking about nothing more than how much money I can make and other materialistc, racist rubbish.

That was the start of the day. Did it get better? Mmmm…..

Colleague99 has been driving me crazy, yet again. We are still, it appears, at the “storming” stage of our team work relationship. Today it was “fire as many requests at Adnan as you can, and fire a new request, just as he tries to start the last one – all in as short a timescale as possible”.

It transpired – after me throwing a wobbly (i.e. having a naughty, enraged tantrum) - that the problem arises from his inability to use correctly coached language. For example, “How are you doing with that job I gave you?” comes out as, “Have you done that job yet?”, to which I – an English speaker replies, “How can I have f***ing done it yet? You’ve only just bloody asked me to do it and then immediately afterwards piled a whole load more of stuff on top of me to do!”

There is a lot of work to do.

Not all of it paperwork.

I suppose it helps to know that the fruit bat doesn’t mean any harm. When you lose your rag, he turns into a pussy cat.

He also has this thing about, “Islam is sincere advice”, and this manifests itself whenever I reach for a cup of coffee.

Caffeine, it is believed, is the cause of my irritation and agitation in the office, and therefore, I should stop drinking it. 99 would know because that was the cause of his agitation as a young man and now he’s fine 'cos he don’t take it anymore. Well – I’m not f***ing 99, am I? I am me. Me and caffeine go well together and have done for years and in any case, my body tells me what it wants.

99 said that everyone says that.

I replied, “And you know better than everyone, don’t you?”.

There was an awkward silence after this.

I had to explain that I get on perfectly well with lots of other people, it’s just when I have run-ins with 99 that I lose my rag, as he tests everyone’s patience (in a totally innocent way, of course – well, sometimes, that is…).

Anyway, the main thing which has kept me going this week has been the phrases, “end of the week” and “going to Bradistan to visit dad and Abdul Wahid and the Crew”.

99 was also going on about “biting nails”. I’m not bloody surprised people bite their nails when they are around him – I’m surprised they even have any hair left!

Dear, Diary - here’s hoping I make it till the weekend.

Make du’aa, Diary, dearest….

Bavarian Wood Exports down at 5 today - sadly.

Adnan signing out.

Wa-s salaam.

10 Feb 2004: Your Haiku For Today

2005-02-10T04:30:00.000-08:00

We must work as one
Each group goes through five stages:
Storming is a phase.
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The One With The Silent Phone

2005-02-04T23:22:00.000-08:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary

Well, just a few days back at the Mad Palace and I find that things have changed - although Cheeky Britisher is just the same (now he claims he's from Ireland - come on, give me a break: you expect me to believe that???) - the walls of the communal kitchen have been cleaned - yes, I will say it again: cleaned, I tell you - and the security card swipe works again.

TooStique - the French-sounding cell dweller from down the corridor - I observed cleaning the kitchen walls the other day. I didn't ask why he was doing so, but I presume he had been commandeered by a higher authority - Big Brother, no less - to do the grisly deed. I just sat there, drinking my Earl Grey and eating my liquid porridge, while he set about the task.

People will flock to the Mad Palace once again: young people - wild people [Lord of The Rings creeping in again...].

On the first day back, the old cooker had been replaced by a smaller, cleaner, sexier model, but was replaced later in the day. The old cooker looks cleaner too.

Colleague99 allowed me two days grace from his grasp, following the hard slog of the previous ten and after that, I was back at his behest on Friday. Friday was a good day for events - straight after Friday Prayer, ***SOMEONE *** (who does NOT want to be named in you - Diary) said, as I was leaving the building, that, if he had been a woman, HE would have married me (I was dressed in the new suit gear forced onto me by Colleague99, and, as usual these days, sporting the "Mr Chris" goatee. Diary - I cannot describe how I felt once he had said this. I just felt extremely ill inside. I have managed to get over it, a day later, but every time I think about it, it makes me feel as though I have died. Yeuch!

The Jailor has still not asked me for my rent and Mr Neighbour was followed around Waitrose's by a few security guards and managers. Mr Neighbour was going on about the incident for at least half an hour to my knowledge, because I could hear him down the corridor in the kitchen after I had left half an hour earlier, and he was still at it.

Once back at the office on Friday, I had a run-in with Colleague99: he wants to tell me how to do the job, but at the same time wants me to use my initiative. I told him that he can't have it both ways. Also, he is always concerned with tiny things, such as how to mark A4 lever arch folder spines and how to run a simple administrative system. I covered that type of thing while still on NVQ's, many years ago. I find it irritating to sit and listen while he goes on about what I consider banale - which could all be skipped if the company had a proper job application process in place, which would include providing job descriptions and asking for a CV or application form. Patience, Adnan - that's the key: patience. Don't let them grind you down.

There was another event which occurred as I was getting off the bus the other evening, which really affected me.

Bavarian Wood Exports down at 1 today.

Adnan signing out

Wa-s salaam.

5 Feb 2005: Your Haiku For Today

2005-02-04T23:00:00.000-08:00

Allah made two types
Which type of human are you?:
There's male or female.

The One With Keeping the Intention

2005-01-31T06:17:00.000-08:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy.

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary.

One of the qualities which I find satisfaction in is the ability to read people just as one reads a book. It saves the time of having to find out what people are basically like. Colleague99 just used 15 minutes of my internet time and the majority of the remaining time was taken by the cashier making conversation with me.

Last night, we packed up mostly and then retired to bed. We finished the packing this morning, with Colleague99 meandering around shops mid-afternoon, with me in-tow with a can of soda in my hand. He had a beef-on because nobody would give him correct information about taking an earlier flight. He eventually got the information, but why are people so unhelpful? You especially don't expect it of Pakistanis: they are so helpful that it is part of their culture - so I am told - to give you information on travelling directions, even if it is wrong!

By the way, Mr Chris is taking more of a hold now. What can I say? Let him get on with things, I suppose....

The snow has melted today - a change in temperature, I think.

I shall be relieved to leave this place. It is not so bad when you have a continuous level of new activity for about two weeks and for longer, because in my experience, you get used to it. But as we have only been working for a shorter period, it has taken its toll on me before we have managed to get to the stage where the work has become easy, due to climatisation to it.

Colleague99 says that I should take it easy for the next few days. I told him that in sales, you don't switch off...

...ever.

- you just keep going. That's the only way. You have to keep making the sales, otherwise, you lose the knack and the edge. Anyway, as part of the creation, work is 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 350 days a year. I stop working when I die. My intention is always turned towards pleasing my creator, the one whom I worship.

Bavarian Wood Exports up at 8.

Adnan signing out.

Wa-s salaam.

2005-01-30T07:08:00.000-08:00

I was thinking about Mujjie Majid today.

The One With The City Police

2005-01-30T07:06:00.000-08:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy.

As-salaamu 'alaykum, yet again, dear Diarykins.

I have just been told by the guy on the counter that the Internet cafe must close early today as the floor is a complete mess and requires mopping. Not that this was my concern. I only asked him for an hour's worth of Internet time.

Working backwards today, Colleague99 and me went to MacDonalds and munched on the static diet of McVeggie burgers, with fries. We are getting ready to leave, and so there was a lot of packing away to do.

Henni has gone now. She has taken our details and asked us to keep in contact. I was in the back, when she was about to leave, reordering and packing small cartons. I didn't really know what she wanted from me, Diary. I mean, anyone I meet has my heart, before and after we meet, so that was as much as I could give her as a leaving present, and I said as much. I mean, I told her that no one ever really left me, as I carried them around with me, in my heart and my thoughts, wherever I walked on the Earth. That is the greatest thing I can give to anyone, but I give it gladly and willingly. It still seemed, though, like she was waiting for me to say something or do something after that parting comment. I don't really know what; perhaps she wanted me to give her a goodbye hug (there was little chance of that - she is a sister). She just stood there. Well, I am sure that everything will work out fine.

The whole experience these past days has been stressful. Of course, in business you have to keep up to it, especially in sales. My thinking is that you don't just "get customers" and then stop; with sales, you are always on the go. That is the way of the successful salesman.

It helps if you have a product which people can really use.

One thing I have given thought to these past two days is the word, "business". I disect it to find the word "busy". There is also the phrase, "That's not your business!". I have given thought to these two phrases, as a basis for helping me to kick the habit of telling absolutely everybody absolutely everything about myself, being a very open type of person. I suppose I can still remain open with you, though, Diary. What I got from my thinking was an evidence that it is okay not to tell people things about my daily doings. The reason I had passed over these phrases previously, not understanding their true significance, was due to insensitivity to the same, brought on by overuse in daily life, while living a life which to the majority of people I know had little significance vis-a-vis who I actually consider myself to be.

Last night, before bed, I was encouraging Colleague99 to use the continuous tense, as opposed to the perfect, as it would make him sound more like an English speaker, rather than a foreigner. I told him that English people always use past, present and future continuous, and nearly never perfect (we also use conditional present and future continuous also). He hasn't taken it on-board.

The Police asked to see proof of my identity as I had been sat in the Internet cafe for a few minutes.

Bavraian Wood Exports down to 7.

Adnan signing out.

Wa-s salaam.

30 Dec 2004: Your Links for Today

2005-01-30T06:35:00.000-08:00

Lack of team work amongst nurses

28 Dec 2004: Your Haiku for Today

2005-01-28T08:00:00.000-08:00

Athletes foot itches
Colleague99 knows:
I passed it to him
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The One with Wonder Woman, Osama bin Laden and Tasty "Mr Chris"

2005-01-28T07:45:00.000-08:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy.

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear, dear, dear Diary. Well, I am back online once more. Again, I have been shaking hands with people from Iran, Holland, Kenya, the US and somewhere in Kuwait. Colleague99 seems more mellow than in previous days, but I am maintaining my business-like line. It seems to be working and clear business behaviour patterns are comfortingly appearing.

But here, I digress slightly. You may think that a digression is not exactly justified in your pages, but please humour me, as this digression is linked to the recent events of this past week in my life, albeit dressed-up at the front end as a journey back through time to when I was much younger and took all of my worldly wisdom from the box in the corner, while living on a scuzzy Council estate, wearing naff clothes and chewing my fingernails until it caused me pain. So here we go...

Are you ready and sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin.....

Do you remember Wonder Woman? Probably not - you were only born in December last year. To recap: Wonder Woman was a 70's/80's television spin-off from the Marvel Comic character of the same name. Wonder Woman was the alter-ego of Diana Prince, a journalist/ super hero. Whenever Diana sensed danger or some naughty doings, she would nip off to a quiet place, where nobody could see her and then start spinning slowly around on the spot. After a few seconds of doing so, a cloud of red, white and blue smoke filled the television screen, and when it cleared, a few seconds later, she had transformed into this super-type woman hero person, wearing a tiara, a strapless gold-trimmed, red bodice (with very fancy line designs) and blue panties with small, white stars on them. Oh - and she had a special gold belt, for catching evil crooks and getting the truth out of them and a pair of red, suede, white-trimmed boots to match. That was all taking place in the 1970's/80's when I was but a nipper living in squalor on a grotty Council estate in an equally non-descript and squalid part of Bradistan.

Now, let's come back to the present. Wait a minute... get over the time lag.... and... so!

Dear Diary - I TOO have an alter ego and he is called......

.... "Mr Chris".

Yes. That's right.

Why is this so? Well, the answer to that has something to do with the World's jolly, old friend: a one, "Mr Osama 'I blow up buildings and smile (or so the World media makes out I do but that's really questionable and to many people that's just a conspiracy, with made-up fake CIA video films)' bin Laden. Phew! What a long name!

Mr bin Laden allegedly blows up innocent civilians and claims to be a.....

....Muslim!

That's right!

Adnan Mole hugs and kisses anything that moves (excluding passing cars and other motor vehicles) and tries to be nice to people.

....he is definitely a...

.....MUSLIM!

This being the case, there is a slight problem, here:

Many of the media-fed people of the world (pretty much how Adnan used to be, when he lived on that crappy Council estate, many moons ago) just believe wholesale whatever the media tells them, despite the fact, that not only does the media make up wholesale lies (such as the fact that the first Gulf War did not start until September, despite LIBRARY pictures of planes, war ships etc. being shown around the world three months earlier on the SUPPOSED date that the war was supposed to have started) and quite openly, whether they believe it to be proper or not, cater to requirements of what their audiences want to hear. Sad, but very true.

With a name like "Adnan Mole", as innocuous as it seems, I am seen as a....

BIG, BAD TERRORIST!

- yes it's true! But I am not - honest!!!!

So, to circumvent fools, for example, certain people in the US Government, PayPal and many companies American, I have an alter-ego, who is called.....

"Mr Chris".

But, unlike my childhood hero, Wonder Woman, he does not spin round slowly and end-up wearing a tiara, kinky, red boots and starry panties. No.

... "Mr Chris" sports a goatee beard (like some sort of homosexual - so my Dad tells me), in place of my full, natural (but nicely shaped, al-hamdulillah) man-type, browny beard and also, he does not pray, knows nothing about Islam and cannot speak a word of anything except posh English. Mmmmm. He also wears sharp business suits and has a middle-manager attitude which makes the employees under his command scared not to do what he asks them, however politely. He's also quite tasty, girls, but sadly married and not available, so don't even think about it [LOL].

For me, Mr Chris is quite draining. Colleague99 insists, however, that it's right he exists, to circumvent the total aversion of snobby or deluded mediasheep clients to whom "Islam" is synonymous with "satan", "filth", "backwardness" and "irrationality" (come on, as if an educated Westerner like me is gonna put aside all his common sense when choosing which way of life is the best for him to follow until the day he dies).

I am Adnan - not Mr Chris. Don't get me wrong: Mr Chris is very pleasant and proper. But ne needs to learn about Islam and start practicing it. How can he go on living in a time vacuum, where there are no days or even fleeting moments? Mr Chris must start thinking about the movement and fading of time and how it relates to his world. This is difficult, as he is a construct who exists to serve a particular end. In Mr Chris' world, there is no time. He has a set mindset, which never changes. He is always agreeable to the perceptions of the masses. He never seems out of place, except sometimes, where he cannot meet at the seams, and my reality shows through. He is a cardboard type of character who merely feeds the imaginations of people from the time they enter his space until they leave it, believing he knows as much as they do and is more than he is.

At the moment, it is quite stressful, as he is switched on more or less permanently, his targets potentially everywhere.

As a reflection, I say that there seems to be some sort of synthesis going on between his persona and my hard-line of sticking to only business with Colleague99, in a manner which seems not only to be broadening out my personality more than when I came to this strange and mystical place, but appears to be taking over me and forming some new sort of Adnan - one who is much more mature and very much more a middle-manager type who can really kick some ass, baby and don't you dare not do what I tell you, because I'm the boss (in a pussy-cat-sort-of-way, of course).

Having said all that, Diary, I do like Mr Chris. He is polite and dependable and someone you can I suppose sort of look up to. A good friend who is just the right shade of warmness, with all that practicality and manliness. Yay!

To come back from my digression about Mr Chris, I now feel settled enough in my new strange envrionment to do my optional prayers, including my night prayers, for which I wake up automatically at about 3 in the morning. This is not because Colleague99 snores like a warthog but something which I believe is automatic

C W R Q N

and as a result of being settled. In any case, all causes and effects are from Allah alone, who creates, regulates, and sustains all affairs at all times, from the beginning until infinity, alhamdulah kul-luhu.

With that, I will wind up., with 11 minutes left until the Internet cafe closes.

Bavarian Wood Exports sadly down at 15.

Adnan signing out.

Wa-s salaam.

The One With the Ladies in the Fur Coats

2005-01-26T06:53:00.000-08:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy.

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear, dear Diary.

It's nice to see you again after a few days. You are a welcome friend in this strange world. I have been in strange places and lands for the past few days, with Colleague99. I have been accosted by men from the other side of the street on dark nights, whistling at me and saying, "Come on guys!!!!" and pointing to a doorway (what do they mean?) and also been accosted by the feamle variety of what was clearly human, while tarted up and dressed in fur coats and lipstick. All a stones-throw away from where I currently lay my small head.

There were some reflective entries that I wanted to put into you but I have not assimilated the behaviours from them into my daily repertoire and can no longer remeber clearly what they were. This is due to my current disrputed schedule of events not involving space where the internet can be eaily accessed: as I am very sensitive to minor changes to my routines, the current raft of Colleague99 initiatives has blown me right of course, until today, hence no entries - particularly reflective ones. I am sad.

Colleague99 turned out to be more than I had imagined, and not all of it good. He has the most peculiar qualities, which seem to get him through the tough business challenges which he sets himself, but which do not make him a comfortable bedfellow. They say that if you really want to know what someone is like, then do business with them. I say, that is 100% true. Colleague99 is initially ingratiating and servile but unbelievably swings to bombastic, arrogant and pedantic at the tip of a hat. I have decided to cool it with the friendliness and just stick to business as this guy is just plain rude. I mean Boss TaNakka (I know he's dead now, but keep rearing his ugly, dead head) was bad news, but at least he was mentally stable. I don't know what it is with these people who are brought-up by dominerring fathers - evidently, it causes them to be total screw-ups when they get older. Sad.

Well, that's life. I am really upset (can you tell? No? Well, that's because I am not - I am with Colleague99 because I get paid to be by the dead Boss TaNakka. I would not care if 99 died somewhere in a ditch. He is a very confused and deluded human being. But more about him later).

I have given recourse to Allah's name "Al Qodeeyr" in the past few days. This name could be translated to, "The Most Powerful". From this name, comes the word, "Al Qodr", meaning, "Destiny". So, Allah is the one who knows what we will do, before we even do it, and gives us the free will to choose what we do, despite knowing in advance what we will do. He destines what happened and what will happen and is independent and separate from his creation. This being the case, he creates all our actions and sustains every molecule and atom and smaller than that, continually and without effort.

It is useful to remember this name when encountering unpleasant situations, involving Colleague99's, for example. If you know a Colleague99 (workmate, boss, neighbour, client) or you are related to a Colleague99 (for example, your father) then you will find my advice useful:

As Allah creates every situation we find ourselves in, through his infinite wisdom, you can take recourse in remembering this fact, when confronted with an otherwise deluded individual who thinks that they are something they are not (i.e. God) but IS in fact something which they don't think they are (i.e. came from something which, if you got it on your hands, you would wash it off before eating, a carrier of blood, semen, urine and poo poo, will die as an offensive-smelling corpse). Because Allah is creating the situation we find ourselves in, you can avoid concentrating on the idiot you are confronted with (which would normally make you fell opressed, angry and any other range of negative emotions) and instead concentrate on the fact that Allah decreed that this should happen and that he is creating the actions as you are experiencing the situation.

You therefore have another way of looking at the situation, and rather than subjectify it, you can with this knowledge of Allah's name (and what it implies) objectify it, step outside of it and listen to Mr Idiot until the cows come home, as you are not really buying into his perception that he (rather than Allah) is the most important being in the equation.

From there, you can interact with Mr Idiot on a "you talk about business, I react" basis.

Al-hamdu lillah.

On a different note, I was speaking to StrawberrySplitz the other day, on the phone, while still in London, and he asked me to put an entry in you about DonerKebab. Now, I won't tell you how DonerKebab gets her name, but I will leave it to your imagination to work it out for yourself. You shouldn't need to try too hard and a clue is that is has got nothing to do with eating kebabs or making them, and that's all I'll say on that subject.

Now, DonerKebab owns a security business on the side. Anyway, I used to work for him for a short while before moving onto different pastures. His company has a very high staff turnover, for some peculiar reason (?), and the person who had the night job before me was apparently dismissed (as I was told) because he had been caught sleeping on the floor with a pillow, when the manageress arrived in the morning.

However, I was very shocked when StrawberrySplitz furnished me (as people like Strawberry always do on the grapevine - do thay have anything better to do with their time? No - perhaps they should go and work for the NHS or become a politician or something like that instead...)with extra information....

He said that the reason why the guy was sacked was not because he was caught sleeping - although you would have thought that would have been enough of an offence. No - the reason why he was sacked was because when the manageress walked into the dark centre in the morning, she found he was in a sleeping back.....

....wait for it.....

...wait for it..............

..... commando!

Yes - that's it: BUTT NAKED!!!!!!

Well, I was really shocked and I felt sick, as I do now, writing this entry in you. Once upon a time in my more very dysfunctional youth, I would have been too psychologically disturbed with other issues, to be affected by such issues, requiring a well-adjusted psyche, which I now possess.

With that, I will end abruptly here, as I have a few minutes left in this internet cafe, in what is the back of beyond, somewhere in the place we call the world.

Bavarian Wood Exports up at 67.

Adnan signing out.

Wa-s salaam.

The One Where Adnan Crawls Back From Beyond

2005-01-19T23:25:00.001-08:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary.

It's been a few days, hasn't it? I do like continuity, but life has a way of dragging you off for long periods down the path to the place where all is exciting and unpredictable.

That's what happened to me, dear Diary.

I will elucidate more, in the coming days, as I am rather busy trying to wrench myself from that place at the moment, like a person trying to escape from a black hole.

The black hole was Boss FaNakka's death and subsequent funeral.

I'm back.

But it will take me a while to get back on track and write copious entries in you.

I hope you understand.

Anyway, before my new colleague - colleague99 - will be around shortly, so I better sign off, now. He's about as harmless as a fruit bat, but has a command of respect about him that I don't want to broach.

Bavarian Wood Exports down to 2 today.

Adnan signing out.

Wa-s salaam

20 Jan 2004: Your Links for Today

2005-01-19T23:25:00.000-08:00

The Tsunami wasn't completely a bad thing, afterall...

The One With The Shock

2005-01-13T04:06:00.000-08:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary.

Well, today I came into the office early, to get to work for Boss FaNakka, now that he has returned. There was plenty of work to do.

Before that, though, the previous evening found the snoring cell mate still in cell 101 because he could not get into a new cell (kind jailor had not yet given him a key and was nowhere to be found). Anyway, he slept elsewhere again. Incidentally, I told him that Boss FaNaka, in an unprecendented fit of humanity, had suggested - nay, almost frowned - on the fact that I did not wear ear plugs in deference to my snoring cell mate. He said that it was okay, and he had a new cell, down the corridor.

Anyway, he returned this morning, as yesterday morning, to return to his bed for a kip. Perhaps he will be gone when I get home this evening. In any case, I woke up for tahajjud, but did not pray it.

Boss Abashra FaNakaa died in a fatal car crash at 1000h on Thursday, the 13th of January 2005, on his way to Heathrow Airport - a wisp of white dust following in his fatal trail.

Wa-s salaam.

The one where Boss FaNakka returns

2005-01-12T04:53:00.000-08:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary.

I apologise to you for not writing anything yesterday - even though I did have a very important reflection to share with you - but my boss (full title: Boss FaNakka) returned from his "business trip" (yes - we know what that's really code for...).

Anyhoo, all I remember from yesterday is getting a grilling from Boss and being coerced into food at his house - that was after the stress and jetlag had drained from his body and left him limp and inspid, like a cup of tea from the Mad Palace cook.

Today, I was in late too, because I had to go for an appointment for my passport abroad, on yet another "business trip" (boss seems to make making a lot of them recently) with boss. And what's with that white powder? Who knows..... Anyway, with the strict regime now that boss is back, I definitely won't be saying, "you never had it so good", dear Diary. You will have to wait a long time for "sweeter meats".

I telephoned Israr to see how he was yesterday. He sounded cheery and the dear said that he liked to hear the sound of my voice (he's always so busy that I never like to take his time). Afterwards, I was really worried about him, even more than when I first made the call. Natural, I suppose.

What I reflected on from yesterday's experience was that I have a delayed reaction with regards to events, and I have to think about them (not always on a conscious level) for about a day, for the effect of what I have been told or experienced to sink in. The upshot is that I don't react in the moment in an appropriate manner, but a day later, whatever happens hits me. Strange. It was the Israr incident that caused me to be reminded of it, once more. The stressful situations of Israr and Boss Fa Nakka caused me to be in a situation where a delayed reaction took place. But after it sank in, I became really worried about Israr. Anyhoo...

Before I walked into the office, I got Father M. on the phone, and discussed my progress with the NewChar project - the document he had wanted me to "tart-up". I told him my grievances with the project to-date and through the process of meaningful communication (hampered by a broken tooth which lascerates his tongue every time he talks), we managed to work things out in such a way that I knew where I stood with the checking process and had an extended (and rather hazy) deadline for completion of my input.

He said that it could be put, "co-authored by Adnan". Also, he gave me full licence to alter the piece as I saw fit. He said he was looking for something in the style of how I write you, so that the work would be attractive to all audiences - young and old alike. What an accolade! My writing of you is used as a benchmark for a work to be distributed to the general public! Fancy that! Well, with Boss TaNakka breathing down my neck (not breathing white powder down my neck - no just breathing down my neck), NewChar might be relegated to weekends now. although I hope to have it completed soon.

As I write, Boss TaNakka is playing with bits of metal, sat down at the table across from me. If only he knew what I am writing, who knows what he might do to me. Oooo! Look! Here he comes now... better pretend I am doing some work, or something.....

...it's okay - he's passed now to the bathroom, I think...

Well, Diary, nothing remarkable has happened in the past day, since I last wrote in you - apart from that reflection - in my life that is; I am sure there have been significant events in the lives of all our brothers and sisters on the planet in the last 24 hours or so, may Allah protect and guide them all, ameen, ameen. As well as look after the little animal things and everything else. The cell mate who snores his head off is still around (he disappears at night now and reappears in the morning, still snoring after a few moments of his head hitting the pillow - arrrgggh!). The jailor said that the cell mate refused to be transferred (is the jailor turning into a pussy cat? I think Chicken has more in him than the jailor!), as it is more expensive for the tax payer(?) (single cells are more expensive, apparently).

That's about it. So I will sign-off, as my routine has been thrown all over the place. I will settle down after a while, and you will become fuller again in future days and weeks. Sorry, kid! In the meantime, you know where I am, if you need me.

Anyway, Adnan signing out with love.

Bavarian Wood Exports up at 7.

Wa-s salaam.

10 Dec 2004: News Flash!!!

2005-01-10T06:11:00.000-08:00

MAN BURSTS ARTERY!

Yesterday, a round, chubby man known as Israr burst an atery while decorating at his home in Bradistan. Falling off a pair of step ladders, he landed on some crockery in the sink which broke and severed an artery in his right arm. Mr Israr was promptly taken to hospital, and put into a plaster cast. He is fine at the moment, but can't remove the cast for eight weeks. His wife and five children are at home, with him.

He is not a Tsunami victim, a Dafurian or an Irqai who has been beaten up by a US soldier but please make du'aa for him. He is your brother afterall.

10 Dec 2004: Your Quote for Today

2005-01-10T06:10:00.000-08:00

"...He had not got beyond the point of the “miracles” bit, and was pressing the audience to explain what a “miracle” was. It was going round robin, I can tell you, and nobody could satisfy... Then, he made the comment that, “Yes, but lots of people can make strange and mysterious things happen”, to which someone in the audience replied, “What, you mean like Tony Blair?”, to which everyone was in stitches..." [Source]

10 Jan 2004: Words From Your Friends

2005-01-10T06:09:00.000-08:00

Allah (az-za waj-jal): Noah ('alayhi-s salaam): The Ark (Chapter 69: Al-Haaqaa [The Reality])
The Prophet (soll Allahu 'alayhi wa sal-lam): Gabriel:Goodness to neighbours (Sunan Abi Dawood)

The one where Shayky Babe get his own way

2005-01-10T05:54:00.000-08:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy.

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary.

Well, it's 6:20pm in the evening, and I have been tapping away on yesterday's entries in you for about an hour. I have, in fact, been tapping away since before 11am, on that article for Shayky Babe that I promised him, just before November 03 (hence, the title of todays entry).

Well, I got up for tahajjud, al-hamdu lillah. An hour before, my cell mate was a-snoring away. Subhaan Allah! What a snorer! After Fajr, I thought, it's no good putting it in your blog when you haven't told him, Adnan! So - squirming at the middle of my bed, with him sat opposite on his bed, I thought, "There's no way for it - I'll just have to come out with it...". After another pause, I just came out with it: "...did you know you snore?". That was it. I had said it. While I was hearing the words with my own ears, it was like I wasn't saying them. It was a schocking experience but the shock only lasted as long as it took my cell mate to react to the comment. He was - remarkably - unruffled, and started talking about numbers of pillows etc.

Anyway, guess what? Guess who DIDN'T get up for Fajr? ...Just guess! Let's see if you can, smart Diary! It was.....

...Mr Neighbour! Surprise, Surprise! I heard him talking at around the same time as my cell mate woke me up at 2am. Well, I guess "fodl, fodl, fodl" is not good for the soul. Allah bless his little, round Egyptian abdomen.

And so, I went back to bed, and surfaced around 9:30am. Cell mate had just partially opened a black out roller shutter and in came Mr Light. Perfect. I got up, got dressed and was out promptly.

When I got to work, Manuel handed me the mail (there was some recorded mail, which turned out to our tickets - mine and boss man's - to Frankfurt!). Also my new debit card had arrived, to replace the last one which accidentally got washed, against its will and my better judgement.

Up, up, up the stairs and....

...into the office [Lord of the Rings lines creeping in : -o].

From then on, I was churning out the text for an article I promised Shayky Babe some time ago, but, like the Queen, it had "been in my pending tray for longer than most" (and no, I am not a Free Mason when I say that, in case you were wondering).

The article is in this entry, below, somewhere. I started the article, after a little conversation with Shayky Babe in the Mad Palace moqsue, back in November 2003. The problem was that shortly before that, my computer died on me, due to the terrible electrics in the Dungeon. So, I lost motivation. From then on, I spent time trying to get in-touch with Shayky Babe to book some time on the Dungeon's adminstration computers. This was hampered by the chaotic communication system present in the Dungeon. Ask anyone to put you through to Shayky Babe and you get resistance. The automatic switchboard system is also nightmarish and obstructive. I remember the last time I used it, I got through to an answering machine, saying that Shaky Babe doesn't take calls, so don't leave a message. After that, selecting another option told me that Eid prayers would be at such-and-such a time (Eid had been months previous) and on tyring another option, I was put through to a second number advising me that nobody was available to take my Hajj enquiry. What a bizarre, anarchic system of communication.

...And this is the main switchboard.

You want to know what the Mad Palace's real name is, don't you? Well, I aint tellin, mate. It's more than my cell space is worth.

Then, when my new job came along, I had too much stress, and both of these things compounded each other; poor communication and other priorities.

I mean, I am a "team" person, and this setup just did not suit me. I mean, I didn't even have Shayky's moby number or email address. I just got his email yesterday. I do things in small stages, and discuss at regular intervals, which is why writing you fits me perfectly.

Anyway, I always had it on my mind - from that day to this, regarding doing the write-up for Shayky. I knew it was intially because of a need to discuss at regular intervals (hampered by me not being one of Shayky's entourage). Then there was the issue of decreased motivation, because the project was not being conducted according to the way I usually work (in a very democratic - did I say that? - fashion). Added to this, was the lack of access of a suitable write-up resource. Finally, there was the issue of getting a new job and being mentally - not physically, because I sit here and write you and chomp biscuits all day - attached to it.

One big situation. But, I do NOT intend to let that happen again. We will keep in good communication - that will be THE first rule. Inshaa-a Allah.

And that's it. I wanted to watch Lord of the Rings Return of the King today, but it's now 7:50pm, so not much chance of that. Perhaps tomorrow, now.

Also, I will have a fresh time to press on with Father M.'s work. He wants it in a week's time but to my mind, there is more than a week's work that might need doing on it - just simple tidying-up, but still more time. His project is also hampered by poor - or limited -communication. That's what happens when you work with these busy types. If you're not bonded to them with super glue (which I do NOT recommend, incidentally - and not that I have ever tried it myself), forget any meaningful team work or discussion.

Any way, I will sign-off for today. Hope you enjoyed our discussion.

Bavarian Wood Exports down at 13.

Adnan signing out.

Wa-s salaam.

10 Dec 2004: An article produced for Shayky Babe

2005-01-10T04:10:00.000-08:00

Yes - there is even Islamic “thinking”!

Bissmillaah. Wa-s solaatu wa-s salaamu ‘alaa rasoowl Allaahu. Wa b’ad:

This article reflects on the issues of thinking in Islam, knowledge in Islam, the sources of knowledge in Islam and the nature of scholars in Islam. It is intended mainly for those people who have doubts about trusting the scholars of Islam and prefer to use their own thinking with which to worship Allah as a supposed safer option. It does, though, also provide a useful reminder for the rest of us.

Can we really get things wrong?

This is a good place to start the discussion. Human nature being what it is, this is not something we generally think about asking or are generally trained to ask. Humans always seem to be led to thinking somehow that they always know best. For this reason, humans make a great many mistakes and suffer a great deal as a result of not asking if they have got things wrong, or misunderstood. I will not give any examples here of what comes as a result of humans thinking they know best, as they are many and numerous, and a quick glance into any newspaper or at a television news programme will probably provide enough examples, for you to come to this conclusion on your own.

Allah says on this point:

“…and it may be that you dislike a thing while it is good for you, and it may be that you love a thing while it is evil for you, and Allah knows, while you do not know…” 2:216

Here, Allah is saying that we may have the idea that something is good, but it might not actually be good. But after everything, Allah will always know what is right for us. This is an important point to make, as many people – even Muslims – get the idea that they can somehow use their thinking to work out what is good and bad.

A good example of this is living in the “modern age”. Some people believe that we needed the laws of Islam a long time ago, because people were barbaric and acted like animals, but now, they say we are “more cultured” and don’t need these old laws any more: in fact, the laws should be updated! The above-mentioned ayah shows this opinion to be a false way of thinking. Note: the thinking behind this provides no evidence from Islam to support its claim. It is merely a result of people’s thinking.

The result of allowing such thinking is that Allah is effectively removed from any affair we might require guidance on. This type of thinking is also declaring that Allah is stupid (we seek protection with Allah from believing that). I am sure that everyone agrees that forgetting our Creator in any situation is bound to lead us to destruction. Even some of the thinkers, who think as we have just discussed, may agree with this. As we see, finally, in the verse above, the Creator (Allah) himself is telling us that He knows and we do not know, and we should take heed of this, and not confuse our thoughts on any given situation with actually knowing anything.

Reflective practice

From a purely secular viewpoint, people have started to become aware that this problem of people “thinking they know” can be curbed in some ways. Now, some university courses have started to come complete with modules in “Reflective Practice”, which enable students to reflect on their performance on a continual basis, to detect and correct any problems with their ongoing practices in their chosen fields of study.

This shows us that indeed, thinking about what we are doing is crucial for a successful beginning, middle and ending in everything in all affairs. In Islam, thinking is mentioned too – hence, the title of this article. Thinking in Islam, however, like everything else in Islam, has its place. This situation is opposed to the modern concepts of “free thinking” and “democracy”, which promote the notion that anyone can think anything they like and be praised for it, regardless of how short-sighted or repulsive it may be. The following selection of verses, then, demonstrate the place of thinking in Islam:

“…Does any of you wish that he should have a garden with date-palms and vines and streams flowing underneath, and all kinds of fruit, while he is stricken with old age, and his children are not strong (enough to look after themselves)- that it should be caught in a whirlwind, with fire therein, and be burnt up? Thus doth Allah make clear to you (His) Signs; that ye may consider…” 2:266

“…Those who remember Allah standing and sitting and lying on their sides and reflect on the creation of the heavens and the earth: Our Lord! Thou hast not created this in vain! Glory be to Thee; save us then from the chastisement of the fire…” 3:191

“…Do they not then meditate on the Quran? And if it were from any other than Allah, they would have found in it many a discrepancy…” 4:82

“…Then to eat of all the produce (of the earth), and find with skill the spacious paths of its Lord: there issues from within their bodies a drink of varying colours, wherein is healing for men: verily in this is a Sign for those who give thought….” 16:69

“…And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect…” 30:21

“…It is Allah that takes the souls (of men) at death; and those that die not (He takes) during their sleep: those on whom He has passed the decree of death, He keeps back (from returning to life), but the rest He sends (to their bodies) for a term appointed verily in this are Signs for those who reflect…” 39:42

“…And He has subjected to you, as from Him, all that is in the heavens and on earth: Behold, in that are Signs indeed for those who reflect…” 45:13

There is a pattern: the verses that mention the use of our faculty to think or reflect in a positive sense, relate only to the signs of Allah and his creation, with the intent that this thinking will lead a person towards recognising just who Allah is, and then being able to effectively worship him, as a result of knowing him from his signs. There are no verses about thinking which ask us to think what a certain verse of the Quran means or about how to make a law, for example. You can check this for yourself.

It should also be stated here, that interestingly, there are more verses in the Quran that address the issue of negative thinking than address the issue of positive thinking, and the content in some cases, gives a reader reason to be concerned about whether they should be thinking at all. Make of note in the following verses of the people with whom negative thinking is associated. Reflect (or think) whether you would like to be classed as being among those people in this life and the next. The verses were selected at random:

“…The Hypocrites - they think they are over-reaching Allah, but He will over-reach them: When they stand up to prayer, they stand without earnestness, to be seen of men, but little do they hold Allah in remembrance…” 4:142

“…He it is Who enable you to traverse through land and sea; so that ye even board ships;- they sail with them with a favourable wind, and they rejoice thereat; then comes a stormy wind and the waves come to them from all sides, and they think they are being overwhelmed: they cry unto Allah, sincerely offering (their) duty unto Him saying, ‘If thou dost deliver us from this, we shall truly show our gratitude!’…" 10:22

“…Those who brought forward the lie [of accusing Aisha, the mother of the believers of adultery] are a body among yourselves: think it not to be an evil to you; On the contrary it is good for you: to every man among them (will come the punishment) of the sin that he earned, and to him who took on himself the lead among them, will be a penalty grievous…” 24:11

“…Pharaoh said: ‘O Chiefs! No god do I know for you but myself: therefore, O Haman! Light me a (kiln to bake bricks) out of clay, and build me a lofty palace, that I may mount up to the god of Moses: but as far as I am concerned, I think (Moses) is a liar!..’" 28:38

This leads us to another point: thinking can be flawed. Thinking a human quality; however, Allah, as we know, is not like us and does not think – he knows. Thinking implies that there is a point where we do not have any opinions about something and we have to go through a process to arrive at some conclusions, based on ideas or information we already have. Well-known examples of people who are well-known for thinking are those people known throughout history as “philosophers”.

Let us just state here that Allah has always known everything and therefore does not need to go through any processes to arrive at conclusions about how to do a particular thing, because he already knows how to do everything (befitting his Majesty, of course) perfectly. This brings us neatly onto the next subject:

What is the source of “knowing” in Islam?

Allah says:

“…Have knowledge that there is nothing worthy of worship except Allah, then ask forgiveness for your sins…” 47:19

So, here, the very first command from Allah is for us to have knowledge. For example, Allah didn’t say, “think” or “feel” – he said, “know!”. The only way to “know” in Islam is through the Quran and whatever that directs us to.

Allah says:

“…This Quran is not such as can be produced by other than Allah; on the contrary it is a confirmation of (revelations) that went before it, and a fuller explanation of the Book - wherein there is no doubt - from the Lord of the worlds…” 10:37

The Quran is the first source of information we have from Allah. It is, therefore, the only way of knowing anything about what Allah orders us to do or not to do. What we have to be sure of is the perfection of the Quran: is it what it says it is, i.e. free from contradictions, errors and other mistakes? We have to be sure of the perfection of the Quran, if we are to base out lives on it.

Is the Quran 100% the word of Allah?

We have to take all of Allah’s orders from the Quran, so we must be sure it is 100% from Allah. How do we know this for sure? Perhaps someone could have written it or changed parts of it. This is not the case because Allah says:

“…Indeed, we have revealed the Quran and it is we who are going to protect it…” 15:09

“…Say: "If the whole of mankind and Jinns were to gather together to produce the like of this Quran, they could not produce the like thereof, even if they backed up each other with help and support…” 17:88

Allah also sets us many challenges in the Quran, to prove to us that it is in fact 100% from Him. I will give one example here, which is:

“…And if you are in doubt as to that which We have revealed to Our servant, then produce a chapter like it and call on your witnesses besides Allah if you are truthful…” 2:23

To this day, nobody has been able to produce anything like even a single verse of the Quran! So, we can be sure from this that the Quran we have today is definitely the Quran that was given to our messenger over 1,400 years ago. It has not changed at all, unlike any other publication produced before or at the same time (for example, another holy scripture): all have undergone changes or some sort or another, but not the Quran! Dot-for-dot, letter for letter, the Quran has remained unchanged for over fourteen centuries, and is memorised the world over by millions of people every year, who do not, in many cases understand its meaning.

There are other verses placed throughout the Quran, which were revealed to challenge the various people at the time of the prophet Muhammad who doubted the Quran’s origin. These verses form a series, starting from asking questioners to produce the like of the whole Quran, to ten chapters, to one chapter (shown above), to ten verses, to finally, just one single verse! Note, that the shortest verse in the Quran is only five letters long! But from those five letters upwards, the Quran has remained unchanged in every way for over fourteen centuries. This is a clear miracle and historically proved. Here are some of the other challenging verses:

“…Let them then produce a Quran like unto it,- If (it be) they speak the truth!…” 52:34

“…Or, do they say: He has forged it. Say: Then bring ten forged chapters like it and call upon whom you can besides Allah, if you are truthful…” 11:13

Chilling warning

Allah says:

“…And who is more unjust than he who forges a lie against Allah, or says: It has been revealed to me; while nothing has been revealed to him, and he who says: I can reveal the like of what Allah has revealed? And if you had seen when the unjust shall be in the agonies of death and the angels shall spread forth their hands: Give up your souls; today shall you be recompensed with an ignominious chastisement because you spoke against Allah other than the truth and (because) you showed pride against His communications…” 6:93

From this verse, we learn of the terrible fate of chastisement that awaits someone who claims that they know what Allah knows. In the context of the verse, the verse is actually talking about revelation of verses. But the actual meanings of the Quran were revealed to the Prophet Muhammad also:

“…With clear arguments and scriptures; and We have revealed to you the Reminder that you may make clear to men what has been revealed to them, and that haply they may reflect…” 16:44

So, by extension, this verse, also refers to a person who claims he knows what a verse means, without having checked with the prophet as to its meaning. We learn from this verse that it is not permissible for anyone – apart from the prophet - to try to explain any verse, even if that meaning were to be lost. We are also reminded that the prophet is the first point of call for understanding, until you have consulted with him, you cannot say you understand what any verse in the Quran means.

Until you have asked the prophet about any verse, you are in a position of ignorance, regardless of whether or not, the meaning of a verse appears clear to you. And we find that with the last point, there are a great many number of verses whose meaning appears to be clear, yet, when we look into the explanation given by the prophet of those verses, it is as if we had never known what those verses actually were referring to.

The corrupt scholars of Islam and ahadith?

Nowadays, there are many people today who claim that we can no longer trust the ahadith taken from the prophet, down through the centuries, as they were remembered and collected by men, who, by their nature, are prone to corruption. As this essay is not directed towards the science of ahadith collection, we will mention a few points here, which should clear this issue.

The first point is that Allah says:

“…And We did not send before you any but men to whom We sent revelation-- so ask the followers of the Reminder if you do not know…” 16:43

So, here we are being told that if you do not understand what the Quran means (which is clear, from what has just been mentioned above, on the subject of always being in an original state of ignorance, when approaching any verse of the Quran for the first time), go and ask the “followers” of the scripture.

The verse here is talking about the previous scriptures (e.g. the Torah, the Gospel), but the verse can also be applied to the Quran, as a scripture, as there is no existing evidence in the Quran to contradict this and also because Allah says,

“…No change wilt thou find in the practice (approved of by) Allah…” 33:62

The first “followers” of a scripture will always be the prophets and then those who first received the meanings from the prophets (i.e. the scholars), and so on, as the message is disseminated down to the people, through the generations. In other translations, the words “people of knowledge” are sometimes used. The original text reads, “ahla-th thikr” (i.e. “The People of the Reminder”), which means the rabbis and priests and such like.

The principle that we take from the above-mentioned verse (33:62) is that we are ordered by Allah to take the understanding of the verses of the Quran entirely from the scholars. So, it is not for any person today to claim that because the scholars are corrupt (according to a word without any evidence, and completely generally for all the scholars) that I will now interpret the Quran myself. No – the scholars must always be consulted as to the meanings of the verses of the Quran, as Allah did not lay any condition of how “corrupt” we considered them to be as a criterion for deciding whether or not to go to the scholar and ask them for advice. In fact, this verse is a general proof that scholars by definition are not corrupt, for if they were, Allah would not have advised us to ask them for advice regarding the meanings of the Quran.

If you add to this, the point already made above (section: Is the Quran 100% the word of Allah?), where Allah states that he is going to protect the Quran, these two verses are the proof that the Quran will be protected on the tongues and in the hearts of the scholars, the same people on whose tongues and from whose hearts came the ahadith. It is strange to believe that the same people, through whom Allah protected the Quran, were not protected by Allah from memorizing the ahadith – the statements of the prophet in which the meanings of the Quran are stored.

A story from the Quran about thinking

And finally, we end on a nice story. Chapter 18 (Soowrat-ul Kahf – The chapter of the cave) of the Quran contains several short stories, each of which has its own moral to tell. The Prophet Muhammad encouraged us to read the whole chapter, each and every Friday, as it would provide a light for us between that Friday and the next Friday. Of particular interest to this article is the story in the chapter about two individuals, of whom, at least one was a prophet (some believe that both were prophets, but that is not the issue we wish to make here. For the purposes of this article, we will assume that only one was a prophet).

So, the story starts before the prophet meets the other significant person in the story. This prophet’s people ask him, “Who is the most knowledgeable?” to which the prophet replies, “I am”. As soon as he says that, Allah reminds him that he should have said that Allah is the Most Knowledgeable.

Then Allah tells that prophet to go on a journey and when such-and-such thing happens, there he will meet a man who knows things which Allah has taught the man, but which the prophet does not know.

When the prophet meets the other man, the prophet is eager to travel with the man and learn the things that Allah has taught to the man. The man however replies, “You will not be able to remain patient with me, because how can you remain patient about something that you don’t know about?” Anyway, the prophet says that, indeed, he will be able to remain patient with the man if Allah so wills. So the man says, “Okay – but don’t ask me about anything that I do, until I myself tell you why I have done it.”

So, the man does three things – one after the other, in different places, at different times - which the prophet thinks are either terrible or count as injustice. Each time, the man explains, “I told you – you would not be able to remain patient with me”, and each time, (ending with the third outburst from the prophet), the man replies with the same reply. On the third occasion of the prophet being shocked at the behaviour of the man, the man explains why he did each of the three things, and then the two part ways.

Actually, the prophet in the story is our Prophet Moses, while the man, as you may know is called “Khidr” (whom, some people believe was also a prophet).

As we have said, each short story in Soowratu-l Kahf has a moral attached to it. As the final scene of the story, which has just related, draws to a close, the moral arrives to complete the final act.

What moral lessons do we learn from the story? There are many, but here are the main ones, selected for purposes of ending this article.

Firstly, we learn that the people look to the prophets to provide them with guidance; in the story, the people ask the prophet who is the most knowledgeable. Secondly, we learn that men – prophets included – do not have absolute knowledge. Thirdly, we learn that Allah is the one who knows everything and teaches us what we do not know. Fourthly, we learn that a quality of people is their tendency to use their thinking in matters where they have been expressly been told not to use it: people do use their limited understanding beyond its scope to explain things – rightly or wrongly – with the result that they sometimes arrive at the wrong conclusions. In the story, not much harm was apparently done.

From all that has been presented here, it should be now clear that thinking is a gift, which Allah has given us to draw us closer to him, by reflecting on his signs in the heavens and on the Earth. Thinking is often used as a replacement for knowing – when we do not know the answer to something – because knowledge is important to us to ensure our well-being and also because we generally need good results in the emergencies of the moment created for us.

We have learnt that the Quran, far from being “out-of-date” and requiring revision, will remain with us as an “up-to-date” source of knowledge, law and guidance until the Last Day. Finally, we have learnt that we can only get knowledge from “the people who know”, which for us is the scholars and that using our thinking as a replacement for the scholars will only allow us to depart from Allah and travel into the Fire. With this, and having proven a valid point, I will end here with the translation of the meanings of yet another verse from the Quran:

“…If ye invoke them, they will not listen to your call, and if they were to listen, they cannot answer your (prayer). On the Day of Judgment they will reject your "Partnership". And none, (O man!) can tell thee (the Truth) like the One Who is acquainted with all things…” 35:14

10 Dec 2004: Your Haiku For Today

2005-01-10T01:53:00.000-08:00

When you were five
You knew you were being watched:
Can you get that back?
A Haiku Homepage - How to write Haiku

10 Jan 2004: Your Picture for Today

2005-01-10T01:39:00.000-08:00

Me? Smoking? Not me, master - Smeagol hates smoking!
(Click for a long, cool, surf to Big Ben in London, UK)

9 Dec 2004: Your Haiku For Today

2005-01-09T05:53:00.000-08:00

Tell me "monkey" man
Who created DNA:
Cells are too, complex.
A Haiku Homepage - How to write Haiku

The one where man gets a bit haughty

2005-01-08T19:47:00.000-08:00

In the Name of Allah, the Owner of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy

As-salaamu 'alaykum, dear Diary.

To begin with, please note for the record the comment I left for brother Mishlei Shlomo Aronovich, regarding the question of, "What would you do if you had the power [of Allah]?" I came across it, while reading through my blog RSS feeds in FireFox.

Then, I had a little sleep (if you can all it that) on the office floor. I got up around 9:30am and got a bus to Hulk's seminar. I bought some drinks to wake me up and keep me awake, from a service station just up the road, on my walk down the hill. Thanks, to Mr Visa - my flexible friend.

When I got to the seminar, it was well under way and the place was almost packed. Strangely enough, Hulk said later that there were more men than women, which is unusual. I said, that was Allah's Qodr and the way things were meant to be. Anyways, when I first got there, Hulk was nowhere to be seen. The very nice smiling sister on the desk said that he had gone out and would be back "in a few minutes" (...mmm Hulk's code for "I'm gonna get mobbed by loads of people, while trying to get something serious done"). I didn't want to join the main group, as I hadn't paid my "due" (£15) to be part of the proceedings, but spying YoungOne, and being a Muslim who by nature does things as a group, I sidled-up to him and sat almost directly at the side of him. He was sat on the low-level radiator units that line the walls. This unit was attached to a window wall. I greeted him, but he didn’t give much back. Shortly after this, he got up, to apparently go somewhere. When he returned, after a hesitation, he sat at a distance from me. He essentially ignored me. Poor YoungOne. What a lot he has to learn about Islam. He will learn, inshaa-a Allah.

By this time, Hulk has walked in, got a bevvy and was sat at his computer on the round table in the middle at the back of the room. I saw him but knowing his busy schedule, remained where I was. I know I come to see him (hence my justification for being there without paying), and also to monitor the Islamic activities (i.e. try to be as much a part of them I can be and in that way offer my support) taking place.

After a short while, I thought to go and mention why I was not sitting with him. He just turned his head up at me and gave one of his inane, check-to-cheek grins and in some sort of way, invited me to sit with him, which I did. He was working on a PowerPoint presentation on the subject of “Qodr”, while paying copious attention to a book on the subject, which he had at his side on the table.

Today, the subject was about “Islamic Monotheism” again, but the two speakers (Shayky Babe and the Imam-o-Redness) spoke about “Prophets” and “The Day of Judgement”, respectively.

Firstly, I was really surprised to Shayky Babe there, as he is also resident Imam at the Mad Palace. He surprised me also by wearing a Pakistani hat-thing (you know, those white sort-of knitted affairs that Pakistanis wear either for prayer or as a permanent piece of dress?), because he is an ‘Arab. Anyway, it was cool. Everything was cool – know what I say? – and his delivery was unnervingly smooth and crisp (which is so usually the way that it is with him.) I say “unnervingly” because he is an ‘Arab: Most of the ‘Arabs I have ever heard talk are either completely or partially out-of-tune with the nuances of English conversation (from appropriate subject matter, to phraseology to grammar to poetic licence and meter). Shayky Babe in that sense, is no way ‘Arab. He’s not even English – he’s in an amazingly interesting class of his own. I have yet to hear him say something which I find boring (Comrade – could you scratch Chicken; I think he’s got an itch behind his right ear…. Ahhhh! That’s better!).

All the people in attendance were - like - newbies (awwww! Allah bless!). At half-time, one, while walking out of the room, addressed me saying, “Oooh! It’s really difficult!”. I said well, actually, I covered all this type of stuff about 13 years ago. After that, he seemed to keep his distance (?????).

Anyway, the only remotely interesting thing that happened was when Shayky Babe got to the subject of “How do we know someone is a Prophet?”, and he had his little white board/ flip chart out at the front (one word, by the way, Shayky Babe, if you’re reading this: next time you use a flip chart, try writing BIGGER and in black ink; I could bearly read what you were writing at the back of the room and that was WITH my glasses!) and was putting down the different criteria, such as he must come with a convincing miracle, which cannot be reproduced, etc.

He had not got beyond the point of the “miracles” bit, and was pressing the audience to explain what a “miracle” was. It was going round robin, I can tell you, and nobody could satisfy Shayky Babe. Then, he made the comment that, “Yes, but lots of people can make strange and mysterious things happen”, to which someone in the audience replied, “What, you mean like Tony Blair?”, to which everyone was in stitches. [Hulk said just after all the laughter (while laughing himself): “You’ve got to put that in your blog!”, so I have done so but I don’t know what educational benefit may be derived from it…. I will leave that to your imagination… Any suggestions, Hulky? Huh? How bout you, Chicken? Or you, Cheeky Britisher? Leave a comment.] Shaky Babe, in a shy sort-of aside – almost under his breath – right after the comment from the audience, “Well, perhaps he is under orders from his boss [meaning Bush]…”. Shayky Babe was smiling gently, too.

After Maghrib, I left. Hulk was so busy (in his own words) that he really just ignored me as I told him I had to go (and get some sleep). He just walked off to the front of the seminar room with his PowerPoint presentation, like I wasn’t there at all, really. Anyway, to close the encounter, I went up, shook his hand and then left. I don’t think I will do another stint at any future seminars, as it has become clear to me that Hulk is very busy and that when he’s at a seminar, he is quite clearly working and needs to concentrate hard. After all, he has a serious purpose being there, and I know he does things in a determined fashion, for which I admire him. Also, he has to think of his two wives and the fifty kids.

I got the bus home and guess who “popped up”? Oh no! Cheeky Britisher! He gets everywhere! Muhammad from the Mad Palace was there too. The jailor is kind to us and sometimes lets us out for good behaviour, on the proviso we’re back by 11pm sharp. He gets grumpy otherwise, and shouts at us from the other side of the door to moby someone to let us in, as he won’t do it (Union rules and all that).

I got to talk with Britisher about you most of the time and the sorts of things I got warned about before being thrown into the Mad Palace.

An inmate had been placed in the other bed in my cell. He has been transferred to my cell previously and he snores. Boy, does he snore!

I made an Adnan special (there were some cretins in the kitchen) and helped Toufik to install SpyBot Search and Destroy on his new computer and then to my room to bed. That was not before the jailor made an appearance at Toufik’s cell door and spent some time with us.

During pre-sleep and while in bed, Mr Neighbour smashed some metallic object against the wall at around (9:40pm and from then on it was “fodl, fodl, fodl, door creak, door creak, door creak, loud conversation, loud conversation, loud conversation” for a good hour-and-a-half afterwards. Hey, Mr Neighbour – Fodl!

And that was yet another day in my uninteresting, little life.

Adnan signing out.

Bavarian Wood Exports down at 21.

Wa-s salaam.

10 Dec 2004: Aunty Diary

2005-01-08T19:44:00.000-08:00

Well, Aunty -

I have yet another dilemma, which is this:

Yesterday, as you remember, I made mention of some rather irreverant comments about Mr Bush and Mr Blair, so my first question is: should I or shouldn't I have told you about them?

My second question is: Now that I have netioned it, I doubt the merits of doing so. Are there really any benefits of making a record of such remarks?

Please advise, and cure my misery.

Love, Adnan.

The Cast

2005-01-08T19:38:00.000-08:00

Here is list of the people that crop up in my Dear Diary (in no particular order). I will update it as time goes by:

Spag

A beanpole of a person with collar-length, black hair. He's a bit of a poser who can get away with wearing his tie in a sort-of sixth-form schoolboy style and is very smooth with his words. Always on about "the birds" and does not surface from his bed until about 2 in the afternoon (a sort-of hip, reverse-Dracula without the fangs...). Why I chose to call him Spag, I don't know (although he does have a bad breath if he hasn't had anything to eat recently). He's very quick at picking things up and hates anything to do with paper. Allah bless him, ameen.

Mr Chris: My sexy alter-ego. He has a goatee beard and gets lots of comments about his sexy looks. But he is difficult to manitain, I must say. Mr Chris does not know anything about other cultures and is a bit cardboard and naff really. He puts on a good performance, but does not fit quite well at the seams, and that's where I show through. I just wish he'd butt out and let me live my life. Useful for business purposes - specifically sales.

Mad Palace,The: A.K.A. "The Dungeon". This is my abode, while in London. It's full title is HM Mad Palace, Shepherd's Bush. It it gloomy. It is dirty. It is dusty. It is run by 'Arabs, as a franchise for HM Government because Securicor didn't have the nerve.

Mr Hulk: A tall sort of whiner who is so busy he never gets any time to see himself. A cross between a Nestorian Monk and a London Playboy, with about fifty kids.

Cheeky Somali: See "Cheeky Britisher"

Mr Neighbour: Has bags under his eyes because he goes to sleep at 2 in the morning, on a regular basis. Crawls out of bed for morning prayer and is always tired. Makes lots of telephone calls and has lots of friends round to his room in the Mad House. Used to be the jailor for the third floor of the dungeon but has now retired.

Chicken: A.K.A. as Comrade Chicken. Lives far away and has a cat called chicken. Makes comments that hit the spot so straight, it knocks you off-balance. Regularly features in my Diary, providing moral fibre and support, armed only with a keyboard and who, armed with her cat sat on her lap, collectively adores all things Mole...

Zahida: My secretary (don't tell her I said that or she will kill me!)

Bradistan: This is not strictly part of the cast but it features so regularly, that it almost has a life of it's own. This is the place I come from. My home. Famous in the past for being the place where the British Labour Party was established, and being the centre of the textile world, and later for curries and Salman Rushdie. Also known as Bradford, due to the fact that the original city settlement was established around a "broad ford (small river)", although this name is falling more and more into disuse.

Mr Lion: A mild-mannered chappie who delights in talking about anything Islamic in a soothing and measured tone, that really makes you want to listen to him. A sort-of cross between a mosque imam, someone with a modicum of intelligence and a pork-pie hat.

Mr Noble: Like Mr Lion but more energetic, with cool trousers in place of the pork-pie hat, which he only wears occasionally these days. Mr Noble and Mr Lion, are good friends.

Shahid: An un-geeky type of Computer Degree post-graduate who is not only cute, but will do absolutely anything for you. He is also so razor sharp, you could use him instead of a Gilette, because he is also cheaper.

Jailor: Actually, there are two jailors at the Mad Palace, and you might get confused sometimes when I write about them, as I never indicate which one it is that I am talking about. That is because these guys are in it together to make the inmates at the Mad Palace sad. Make them bad. Make them Mad! And they do: from crapped-up toilets that never get cleaned, to the filthy kitchens, to unwanted cell transfers - they can make your life hell. They are a combination of "me-no-speaky-much-English", with a bit of young, modern, 'Arab brusqueness thrown infor bad measure. Be warned - stay away!

YoungOne: A young teenager who is sometimes seen serving tea at Hulk's seminars and also seen sometimes taking notes. He seems withdrawn and distant at times, yet with it at others. Became a Muslim in the mid-1990's and wears a turban-type thing on his head. Has a wispy, ginger (get that - ginger!) beard.

Israr: Little, round man. Not my words, but what more can I say. Also looks a bit Chinese and has a mobile telephone grafted onto his ear. Has not changed his telephone number in the last ten years.

Cheeky Britisher: Used to be known as "Cheeky Somali", but was changed when he had read my blog and said he was not Somali and had a British passport. A cheeky, cute-looking brown-skinned (not too dark, not too light - just rite!) man, with dimples and a gorgeous complexion, girls! About 26 years in age (and not married, girls!!!), who I keep bumping into, whenever I go on my travels. He can pop-up anywhere and at any time, without warning and at will - when least expected - with a big smile and a little bit of chit-chat. If he popped-up from under my desk right now as I am typing with that cheeky smile, I would not at all be surprised.

Henni: A nice lady who does boxing.

Ashy: A cool chick who you can't afford, who jets around the world, with a life of ease.

myneighboursarehoors: a 16-year-old Glaswegian lassie who is mild-mannered and wears steel top caps to work, but doesn't use them to do-in her "hoor" neighbours and the 24-hour party crew below where she lives.

Abdul Wahid/ Wahid: A.K.A. as "Chico" to his customers, because he looks "Spanish", rather than "Paki". Very mild-mannered and is very fixated on Tarantino movies. Usually bog-eyed from the long hours he is expected to work at "El-Gringo Pizza Facade" in Leeds. Nice and cuddly and good when you need a friend to be around.

Colleague99: The main person that I work with in Sales. He curiously appeared the day after Boss FaNakka passed away and has lingered insipidly ever since. He is very thin and you could almost mistake him for a human-type of "Matchmaker" (that's a British, minty, chocolatey type of thin stick confectionery), with the exception that he is not made of chocolate (at least I don't think he is - I have never tried to lick him! (???)). He spends his time going into minute, minute detail about everything new and past, irritating the pants off whoever he is interrogating, while wearing an infuriating, slight grin on his face. He missed his way - he should have been in the Civil Service.

9Jan 2004 - Your Links for Today

2005-01-08T19:16:00.000-08:00

Muslim Refusenik: The Trouble with Islam

9 Jan 2004: Words From Your Friends

2005-01-08T18:02:00.000-08:00

Allah (az-za waj-jal): Everyone believes in God when they're about to drown...
The Prophet (soll Allahu 'alayhi wa sal-lam): Leniency

9 Jan 2004 - Your Other Picture for Today

2005-01-08T17:47:00.000-08:00

Beautiful by Comrade Chicken
(Courtesy of http://www.loveandcomraderie.blogspot.com)
(Click to surf for a drink at the All Nations Cafe)

9 Jan 2004 - Your Picture for Today

2005-01-08T17:02:00.000-08:00

Golden Day by Yap Hong Ngee
(Courtesy: artgallery.org.my)
(Click to surf on the ocean to the miracle planet)